Yep. I reviewed my own book.
This is a comprehensive review of my own book.
I have attempted to be as unbiased as possible.
On first picking up the book, I was pretty excited to see my own name on it. I realise that this will not be the case for a lot of people reading this book, unless of course your name is Chaz Hutton, which would be pretty wild. If that is the case, I give you permission to walk around and tell people you wrote it.
The other thing that’s nice about this book is that it’s a hard cover. As I’ve decided that this book is destined to live in people’s bathrooms as a nice ‘toilet book’, this sturdier format is perfect for the water damage that inevitably occurs in that harsh, unpredictable toilety environment. 5 stars so far I think.
Sadly, the paper stock is actually quite good. It’s a really nice strong matt finish, which is a terrible alternative to loo roll should the loo roll ever run out. In that regard, it’s not a very good toilet book and I apologize for that. Down to 4 stars.
But jeez that hard cover is good for other stuff! You could prop up kitchen tables with that, or use it to put a dish of hot food on, it’s up to you really.
The real excitement however is when you open the book, because that’s largely how books work. You’ll notice that boring old page with all the copyright stuff on it, which as far as I’m concerned means it’s a real book and was the thing I was most excited about.
Anyway, then there’s the dedication on the next page! It’s dedicated to Jeff Goldblum, because he hasn’t followed me back and so I’ve decided to publish an entire book just in order to send him a passive aggressive nudge reminding him of this fact. Granted, as far as passive aggressive nudges go, this is probably one of the more expensive and elaborate ones ever conceived. So if you enjoy this book, you probably have Jeff Goldblum to thank for its existence.
Weirdly, for this dedication to Jeff to remain funny, I now need Jeff not to follow me, which is a very confusing situation for me to be in.
Okay, next up is the contents page. There’s all kinds of chapters! Stuff about the Home, stuff about Technology and stuff about Food and Drink all neatly organised for you! Here’s the thing; I never wanted this thing divided up thematically. I wanted the book to be a free flowing meandering stream of consciousness that would go straight from thinking about the length of rapunzel’s hair to wondering how much rent she would have paid for that top notch tower. However, my editor reminded me that this would have the effect of the reader feeling like they were stuck in my own stream of consciousness, which is a very strange world indeed and not one I should inflict on an unsuspecting reader. So, chapters it is.
Now we’re into the guts of the thing! There’s a nice big two-page introduction full of all kinds of nonsense and then it’s bang into one hundred and eighty one sticky notes covering all kind of stuff from the effect of microwaves on space time, to the best way to poach an egg, to the logistics of James Bond ordering a coffee. All of which are much more complicated than they need to be.
I’m pretty sure most, if not all of the comics are funny. The thing is, I’ve seen them so many times now I’m not even sure anymore. But sometimes when I give the book to someone to have a look at, they laugh out loud. I’m not sure if this is because they think it’s actually funny, or because I’m standing right next to them menacingly staring at them waiting for the right kind of reaction.
In any case, I guess you’ll just have to find out for yourself. The book is apparently available in all good bookstores, despite my insistence that I would like it to be available in some unsavory bookstores as well. You can also obviously find it here if, like me, you don’t like leaving the house unless it absolutely necessary.
