Dear Leon,

I like how your blog includes your experience with what you are writing about (weight loss) and what it takes to be successful at so. From reading your blog, I gained a motivational tone from you. You do not provide vague information by just saying "work out" as you go into detail about what kind of workouts should be completed. You also mention dieting as this is crucial to weight loss as well. Your writing is very detailed and specific in regards to what foods should be included, the time frame of workouts, and how to balance this all out. Your opinions are well stated and I believe this is also important because people who are new to this journey want to hear from someone who is experienced. To gain a more believable approach, I suggest you provide pictures of your results (only if you are comfortable). Your writing is also motivating because of the plan and procedures that you took to become successful in your journey. I also like how you mention reassurance to the audience for their journey about how we are all human as it provides more motivation. When revising, make sure to check for capitalization all throughout your writing piece even though it is a draft. Overall, this is a very interesting article and I have enjoyed reading it and I am looking forward to your final production.