I Am Part of the Capitol Hill Books Resistance

Capitol Hill Books
Sep 7, 2018 · 2 min read

by Anonymous

The readers of Capitol Hill are facing a test the likes of which they’ve never faced before.

The new manager and co-owner of Capitol Hill Books, we’ll call him A., lacks the good judgment necessary for someone holding his office and is attempting to commit acts of literary turpitude that run counter to our long tradition of offering a wide variety of reasonably priced books of all types and timbres.

But fear not, readers. I am part of a heroic resistance among Capitol Hill Books’ senior staff seeking to mitigate his most depraved and outrageous impulses.

Take our all staff meeting last week. We congregated up in the fiction room and A. walked in and paced in front of us in Steve Jobsian fashion for some 30 seconds. Finally, he spoke: “One word: Cheever,” he said. We all looked at each other nervously. Soumya furrowed her brow and Jenefer looked around, perplexed.

A. continued: “We will build the world’s foremost collection of John Cheever! We will sell Cheever in 12 different languages and host Cheever reading nights twice a week!”

“Ok, but we don’t really have much space for more Cheever,” Shantanu ventured.

“You misunderstand me. We are only selling Cheever from now on! Clear out the rest of the books to make room for Cheever! Make it so!” A. shouted. And with that, the meeting concluded.

Now, we haven’t sold a copy of “Falconer” for years. The books just sit there in a lonely corner of our fiction section piling up dust and sympathy.

Following the meeting, our small cadre of resisters held our own council. “We are not doing any of that,” said Matt. “The plan is, I’ll take A. to Tune Inn and get him drunk and he’ll forget all about this.” And so it went….

While these are trying times for the book scene in Capitol Hill, know that there are a few of us who are still dedicated to our way of reading, and we have vowed to ensure Capitol Hill Books remains a literary lodestar of the neighborhood.

Also, by the way, we’ll have free wine & cheese this Saturday, Sept. 8th, from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Capitol Hill Books

Written by

Bookstore. Into selective luddism and remembering that we are all doomed. Maybe come buy our books.

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