It was day one and I was on edge. Rushing a sorority was never my intention going into college. I played on the field hockey team and a few older teammates who I respected were in a sorority, so I thought I’d give it a try.

My rationale for joining the Greek scene was three- fold: 1) Greek life seemed much less intense at Stanford than at other schools, 2) I really wanted to join the “athlete one” with all of my teammates and, 3) the parties sounded fun.

The week of rush was a blur — it was filled with awkwardly forced conversations, enthusiastic clapping during sorority chants, and a palpable self-consciousness that permeated every room. Waiting in line to meet a sorority usually involved sizing up the girls around you to determine where you fit into the social hierarchy. A million superficial thoughts would overwelm my mind: “That girl definitely seems more Chi-O to me” or “Woah, did you see her crop-top” would neurotically ping across my head as I waited to walk in.

At the end of the week when I found out I got accepted by my first choice sorority, I was ecstatic. Mere minutes after joining, I had 50 Facebook friend requests, invites to parties, and was warmly embraced by pretty strangers who would high-five me around campus. It was overwhelming and ego-boosting and definitely a little bit strange.

The excitement ended quickly though.

My day of finally being validated as “popular” turned out to be the opposite for a few of my friends. When my best friend at the time, an already very emotional person, didn’t receive a bid, she became depressed and would rarely leave her room. In the few weeks that followed, I would sneak into her dorm to find her laying in bed, her pillow dampened with tears. “This whole thing is so superficial,” I would tell her. “Of course you’re good enough,” I said, although secretly thrilled to finally be labeled as one of the “cool girls.”

My time in a sorority was very confusing. I have a lot of really great memories from it. A lot of the best people I met in college were in fraternities and sororities. But ultimately, after a year of actively participating, a year of apathy towards the whole thing, and a personal awakening during my senior year, I decided to leave. And recent news stories of the racist chant at the University of Oklahoma and the nude photo controversy at Penn State have reminded me why.

I do not think all Greek organizations are as deeply racist and sexist as the examples mentioned above. I do, however, think a significant number of them are. And just as importantly, even the progressive chapters are operating within an antiquated system that is not making anything better for the LGBTQ community, people of color, and women.

And it’s no mystery why.

Fraternities and sororities celebrate antiquated traditions, often including outdated practices from a much more racist and less gender-progressive time period. On top of that, gender separation (excluding a lot of LGBTQ students), price of membership, and preferential treatment of “legacies” creates an overwhelmingly privileged (and white) group of people. Combine all of that with a lack of transparency due to secret traditions and rituals, and boom. That’s Greek life.

I’m no longer shocked when I read about racist, homophobic, and sexist actions coming out of Greek organizations. It makes sense.

Greek life made headlines this month when two University of Oklahoma students were expelled after leading a racist chant that referenced lynching black people and repeatedly used the n-word. The chant has apparently been used by other SAE chapters for at least a decade, and is most likely a tradition that has been handed down for much longer than that.

One of the lines repeated throughout is, “There will never be a ni**** in SAE. You can hang him from a tree, but he can never sign with me.”

The one tiny piece of hope in this story is that the University took swift action by expelling the students leading the chant and shutting down that particular SAE chapter. This sends a message, but it doesn’t address the problem.

In a recent interview with CNN, University of Oklahoma President David Boren described how he doesn’t think this type of racist behavior is abnormal within fraternities:

“I don’t think it’s an isolated incident… I think it’s far more widespread, and it’s subtle… almost a return to the 1960s.”

And he’s right.

This isn’t the the first time, even in the past few months, that we’ve seen racial bigotry, sexism, and homophobia come from frat row. And on top of that, if this is the kind of chant that fraternity members would sing in public, I would be very disturbed to find out what they are saying behind closed doors, during private, members-only rituals.

Another major news story this month comes from the east coast at Penn State, where Kappa Delta Rho fraternity members are facing criminal charges because of photos showing drugs, hazing, and unconscious women.

According to an affidavit, “some of the postings were of nude females that appeared to be passed out and nude or in other sexual or embarrassing positions. It appears from the photos provided that the individuals in the photos are not aware that the photos had been taken.”

While Joseph S. Rosenberg, the fraternity’s executive director, stated that “the national leadership of Kappa Delta Rho is committed to hold our brothers accountable for their actions,” it is hard to believe that any significant action by the fraternity will take place, especially considering this isn’t the first time that this particular chapter has been exposed for sexist behavior.

Although the specific site under investigation is relatively new, the content on it is not. Prior to this website, there was a similar one with sexually explicit photos. It wasn’t taken down until last year when a woman fought to have the site removed.

So why should we believe that Kappa Delta Rho will change their actions this time?

Sororities are also not immune to racist, sexist behavior. At least four “traditionally white” sororities at the University of Alabama actually kept two black women from pledging in 2013 . Though current sorority members wanted to offer bids to the candidates, alumnae and other high ranking members rejected them.

So to say that Greek life is a breeding ground for bigoted behavior isn’t hyperbolic. Even at their best, these organizations perpetuate archaic power structures, push people toward gender stereotypes, and treat female members paternalistically.

At Stanford, which I imagine is on the more progressive end of the spectrum, the Greek system continues to be outdated when it comes to gender relations. Fraternities largely determine the social atmosphere because they are the able to hold all-campus social events. National Greek governing board policy dictates that sororities cannot have alcohol in their houses, creating a dynamic where sororities compete for invites, rather than hosting their own events.

This creates a culture where sororities select members that they think frat boys will like. And the need to impress and sexualize yourself for fraternity members only continues from there. Instances where I was asked to crawl to frat houses and sing sexually suggestive chants were reminders of that.

I, like most of my friends, joined a sorority to have fun in college. I knew there were allegations of bigotry within Greek organizations, but I assumed because I was aware of the issues, I wouldn’t be contributing to them. This wasn’t the case. Somehow I found myself perpetuating power structures that I came to college to break down.