Feeling Really Sad
To miss the Deepavali Family Gathering
I’ve been looking forward to my Aunty’s Deepavali party for weeks. I haven’t missed a family Deepavali celebration in 52 years. But looks like number 53 is not meant to be for me.
I can’t go now as I’m under the weather. Coughing in my sleep and a stuffy nose. Why is the coughing always worse when you lie down?
I don’t want to pass the germs to anyone so that’s why I told my aunty I have to stay home. Honestly don’t think I’ll be missed but I will miss my family. Especially the little ones.
Was watching a documentary on Anthony Bourdain about how he could never believe anyone genuinely cared for him. I’m the same way. I know for sure that I care for others though. Is this the mind of a depressive person?
Sometimes I feel this crushing loneliness. Is this what comes with age? To be surrounded by people and still feel disconnected, lonely and often like a burden. I feel that people do things out of obligation. Well maybe sometimes I do too. Go through the motions.
When I was younger and working long hours I constantly missed family functions. I regret that so much now as you can’t get those precious moments back. I did have an exciting work life though so at the time I was fine with it. All of this matters more and comes…
