First days.

I’ve just arrived in San Francisco after my big announcement that I was taking a new position and uprooting my life to a brand new city. Friends and family came out of the woodworks to share in my happiness, wishing me well on the next chapter of my life. For the past few days I’ve felt empowered, emboldened, and excited for all the changes — ready to dive right in and absorb my new life.

My first day was beautifully spent at the beach, reintroducing me to my native California roots, and washing the neon glow of Vegas off my cheeks. My best friend took me down to the water where we ceremoniously took pictures in front of the majestic Golden Gate Bridge. We ate Chinese food in China town after strolling through Little Italy, and I kept reminding her that we’re finally, after 14 years, reunited as neighbors again. I live here!

But none of this is without a familiar pang of anxiety from the girl who doesn’t like change, yet forces herself to be an “all or nothing” type of person. I’m all in, or I’m all out. If I’m going to make a life change, it’s going to be drastic or it’s not going to happen at all. I’m not sure if that’s the healthiest way to tackle it, but it’s the only way I’ve ever known. Couple that with my persistent impatience, and you’ve got a girl who’s dying to jump ahead to a place of settlement and stability. Everything from the weather to my career is changing, and on day 3, I must remind myself to rise to the occasion, slow down, and not let my worrisome mind hold me back from exploring, adventuring, and absorbing my new surroundings.

I’m off to a slow start: coffee shops, stationary boutiques, and walks around the block. Uber rides to where I need to go before I immerse myself in public transportation. Then gradually I’ll begin to recognize my surroundings and venture beyond the comfortable confines of my 3 block radius. Until then, I’ll keep reminding myself to take it all in one day at a time and appreciate that I’ve been given exactly what I asked for: the job, the city, and the new life I craved. I already miss my friends, my parents, and the comfort of familiar surroundings in DTLV, but I know I have the opportunity right here, right now, to start over and live the life I’ve always dreamed about. And I promise not to take that for granted.