Everybody Cries at the Dentist

I don’t mind going to the dentist. Unless there’s a ton of plaque scraping, I really don’t mind it. I like having my teeth cleaned.

This particular day, I was having a shitty day at work. There was a bit of a mouse problem in our office (we had a kitchen and this was lower Manhattan) and everybody was mad at me. It obviously wasn’t my fault (I didn’t INVITE the mice to live there), but I was the office manager and two specific women held me responsible for the “rat infestation” a.k.a. two mice in the kitchen. They blamed me for creating an “unsanitary work environment” and I told them I put traps down, but the mice “just didn’t want to go in them.”

The appointment was during my lunch break, so I arrived at the dentist a little rattled and the dental hygienist, Aida, called me back. She introduced to me to my new dentist whose name I would write here but he was really hot and I don’t want it to get traced back to him.

The dentist left the room and Aida began cleaning my teeth. The cleaning was fine, but then she started fitting me for x-rays. You know how they put those weird metal and plastic holders between your jaws and you have to hold them there for the x-ray? And how sometimes the contraption jabs into the roof of your mouth or kinda cuts into your tongue? I walked in the door feeling sensitive already, so this time it REALLY got to me. I started crying (like, full on weeping) in front of Aida.

She was taken aback and slightly uncomfortable at first, but in between sobs I told her about the mouse problem at work and how those two girls had yelled at me. After that, Aida was a dream. She stopped the whole x-ray process, got me a tiny cup of water, and held my hand. She told me the girls at work were just jealous and advised me to go home after work and drink a nice glass of red wine with dinner.

She totally calmed me down just in time for the hot dentist to come back in the room. My eyes were all red and puffy from crying, but he was hot and nice and didn’t bring it up. As usual, my teeth were well-maintained and I had no cavities, so I think he was impressed.

That night, I stopped by a fancy wine store on the way home and got a nice bottle of Montepulciano (the wine my dad always orders at Italian restaurants). I obviously made a pasta dish to go with it and I toasted to Aida with my first sip of wine, “To Aida, the angel hygienist who totally got me.”