“I didn’t have a baby with your mom.”
Corey Eridon

What I find interesting about this survey and every article or study that reveals that the division of labour in North American households is not even, is that the chores that men mostly do are not daily chores but the ones that women mostly do are daily. Taking out the trash is usually once a week. Mowing the lawn is once a week. Paying bills is maybe once a month. Paying taxes is once a year. The chores that mothers usually end up doing are daily, especially the child-related chores of making school lunches, giving baths, etc. I guess we can rationalize this any way we want (no paid or even unpaid paternity leave, socialization, men’s physical inability to breastfeed, etc., etc.) but it’s really just sexism. I have seen this scenario play out over and over and when I had my first child and he had colic for the first six months, my husband’s sisters told me that I must let him sleep through the night because he had a demanding job. I considered that I also had a demanding “job” cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and caring for a very fussy baby who hardly ever slept but somehow the assumption was that I could do my demanding “job” with little or no sleep but my husband could only do his demanding job if he had a full night’s sleep. Caring for a newborn or being home full-time with one or two toddlers is a full-time job, end of story. And it’s true that women, after putting the family “processes” in place while off on maternity leave, often end up continuing to do them once they return to paid work. This is not because they are inflexible, rigid or refuse to entertain any other way of loading the dishwasher other than they way they do it. It’s because they are less likely to live in a house where these things are not done and they realize that if no one else will do it or lend a hand, they will have no choice to do them and sometimes it’s just easier to do it than to fight. There is a vast difference between not loading the dishwasher the way a wife likes it and not loading it at all. And yes I know that many men do their fair share and some do more than their fair share but that’s definitely not the norm.

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