16 Ways to Become Just Another Broke Millennial

1. Even if you don’t have the money right now, make sure you go to every social function. Life is all about being able to show that you are successful and can hold your own when it comes to pulling out the wallet, right? Here are some reason’s we are afraid to admit that we can’t afford it:

• FOMO or “the fear of missing out” — This used to plague me… hard. I was always the last one awake at parties to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Who cares how I was going to feel the next day — the adrenaline of never missing something kept me awake and ready to go even when I was utterly exhausted and should have just stayed home in the first place.
• Appearance
• Needing to fake your level of success

2. You’ll get paid in a few weeks and can pay it off. Make sure you spend money whenever “they” do. And by “they” I mean family, friends, coworkers, random strangers, new acquaintances — anyone you want to look good in front of.

3. Only pay the minimum payments on your bills — especially your credit cards!

4. Don’t save any money in your retirement accounts (401k, 403b, etc.) — make sure you don’t get that company match either — who wants free money?!?

5. Pay for everything with your credit card, regardless of if you have the money to buy it or not. You’re getting reward points, you smart thing, you.

6. Live by the “I could die tomorrow” motto, and don’t think about what will happen if you are alive at age 95.

7. Buy a brand new car every few years. Better yet, lease a new car every few years. Keep yourself in a cycle of never owning one so you will always have to rely on another car dealership not screwing you over each time. They won’t care about that scratch in the side of the vehicle, or the 10,000 miles you drove over your mileage allotment.

8. Don’t ask your boss for more money. They will give you a raise when you deserve it, because they have your best interests in mind. They also know what you’re worth and should decide when to give you a pay increase. Plus, what if you ask and they say “no”? That would be scary.

9. Always have the latest and greatest. This includes technology, new cars, shoes, clothes, expensive coffee, and a mani/pedi whenever you can.

10. Don’t hold yourself back when you want something. You deserve it. You work hard 40–50 hours a week and deserve that splurge every now and then, even if you are “splurging” every week.

11. Don’t question what people tell you. That buzzfeed article that tells you what people like you should be doing is clearly the right thing to do. The news wouldn’t report something if it weren’t true. That skin cream really will solve all of your problems.

12. Stay at the same job the rest of your life. Loyalty is key to success these days, right? You’ve worked at the same place for 10 years, so you have to be making more than the new guy they just hired, right?!

13. Don’t try to find a job you absolutely love. A job is a job, a means to and end. Work isn’t meant to be something you love. You will work until you’re 65 and then you can retire. That’s how life goes.

14. Accept the fact that you will be in debt for the next 30 years. You borrowed the money from these big financial institutions. They have the expertise, and are the ones who decide how and when you will pay back your student loans. Plus, why pay extra every month when you don’t have to?!?

15. Don’t shop around for a cheaper option. Everything costs the same no matter where you buy it from. Plus, it’s such a waste of time and money to find a deal these days.

16. Don’t waste your time with budgeting or saving money. Everyone hates budgeting, and you’ve never tried it. Saving money is hard and pointless because you might die tomorrow. It’s not fun and doesn’t give you any peace of mind when it comes to knowing where you stand.

Know anyone who this entire list applies to? Yea, me too. You might want to share this with them….they’ll thank you later.

Originally published at www.brightcents.com on July 29, 2015.