there was a time before you
when I was keenly aware
of the space I was taking
on this Earth
when I ran my hands
reluctantly
over my own body
not wanting to feel it
not wanting to see
then one afternoon
you unwrapped me
and made me feel
like I was a gift for you
and only you
after that
my body took up
less space in my mind
and in the whole world
I closed my mouth and
opened my heart to you
and now I can’t eat
because I’m afraid
of how I’ll heal my heart
if I can
if i even really want…
I remember sharing
stories and secrets
back when secrets
started to mean something,
and the softness of your hair,
the sparkle in your eyes.
You, curled up
in my bedroom
more nights than I can count
because sometimes
it felt more like home
to you than home.
Luna moths
peppering my window,
and if you looked in
you’d see us laughing.
It’s been twenty-four years
of this friendship
and we are still laughing together,
but sometimes, what’s better,
is our silences.
The way you hold me
in your stares and your arms
and certainly your heart.
Your love is strong,
your love is tough,
and I love you for it.
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