A List of Things I Scream Into Lately When it All Gets To Be a Bit Much

Couch cushions
Duvet covers
Memory foam
Water beds
Hammocks
Army cots
Beanbags
Snuggies
Down pillows
Live ducks
Unlive ducks
VHS copies of “The Mighty Ducks”
Reusable Whole Foods shopping bags
Magazines at the gym
Buckets of ice water
Buckets of grout
Buckets of fish heads
Really any bucket is a winner
Baby strollers
Dog houses
Strangers’ mail slots
Strangers’ mouths
Travel sized conditioner bottles
Mason jars of organic jams
Open wounds
Sink holes
Volcanic craters
Reverse megaphones
Ports on phones
Ports on laptops
Ports in storms
Ports in calm days
Ports in days that start nice but end up turning about half-way through
Damp toasters
Hibernating bears
My hands
The crook of my arm
The crook of my leg
Pocket flasks
Potted plants
Unpotted plants
Pot plants, potted or otherwise
Soho House
Chicago Athletic Association
Alinea
My polling place
My pole-vaulting place
Rabbit holes
Tears in the space-time continuum (like rips)
Tears in the space-time continuum (like eye water)
Fanny packs
Lisa Frank trapper keepers
Diaper caddies
Religious texts
Coinstars
Balloons
