A List of Things I Scream Into Lately When it All Gets To Be a Bit Much

Christopher Smith
Aug 28, 2017 · 1 min read

Couch cushions

Duvet covers

Memory foam

Water beds

Hammocks

Army cots

Beanbags

Snuggies

Down pillows

Live ducks

Unlive ducks

VHS copies of “The Mighty Ducks”

Reusable Whole Foods shopping bags

Magazines at the gym

Buckets of ice water

Buckets of grout

Buckets of fish heads

Really any bucket is a winner

Baby strollers

Dog houses

Strangers’ mail slots

Strangers’ mouths

Travel sized conditioner bottles

Mason jars of organic jams

Open wounds

Sink holes

Volcanic craters

Reverse megaphones

Ports on phones

Ports on laptops

Ports in storms

Ports in calm days

Ports in days that start nice but end up turning about half-way through

Damp toasters

Hibernating bears

My hands

The crook of my arm

The crook of my leg

Pocket flasks

Potted plants

Unpotted plants

Pot plants, potted or otherwise

Soho House

Chicago Athletic Association

Alinea

My polling place

My pole-vaulting place

Rabbit holes

Tears in the space-time continuum (like rips)

Tears in the space-time continuum (like eye water)

Fanny packs

Lisa Frank trapper keepers

Diaper caddies

Religious texts

Coinstars

Balloons

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