Why Saying “I Miss You” in Your Long Distance Relationship May Be Detrimental. (Focus: Psychology, Relationship Advice)

I personally hate saying I miss you.

I hate saying I miss you because it’s a verbalization of the obvious and does nothing but remind both parties of the circumstances they are currently subject to. That being said, being in a long distance relationship has made me rethink the dynamics in play behind telling someone you miss them. The tricky thing about a long distance relationship is balancing the pain behind wanting to see someone you can’t, and not being so indifferent it ruins your relationship. So where does “I miss you” come in play? In my ideal universe, “I miss you” is the representation of all the time you spent thinking about your significant other since the last time you said it. Rather than saying “I was thinking about you every so often today” or repeating “I thought about you all day” everyday, you merely say “I miss you.” My issue with “I miss you” here is that it’s not a measurement of how much you miss them. The words then begin to lose meaning. I call this the “I love you” effect. Enough of the criticism though, let’s talk solutions. The solutions to the issue of I miss you are as follows. 1: say I miss you less, and instead, every time you miss your boyfriend/girlfriend, create something; art is emotionally driven, and pain fits that category. 2: Every time you tell someone you miss them, give a specific. That makes each I miss you special, and does well to retain the impact behind the words.

I think it comes intuitively that the purpose of a long distance relationship is to last long enough until it is no longer long distance. That prompts a perserverance attitude. Rather than thinking “I just need to get through this,” try thinking “They’re going to be so amazed when they see me again” Always look on the bright sides.

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Victor Chen’s story.