5 Lessons I Learned My First Year of College
What they don’t tell you at orientation
September is on the horizon, and with the fall semester looming before us I wanted to take some time to reflect on a few lessons I learned my freshman year, because let’s face it- with the independence bestowed upon us our freshman year at college comes great responsibility.
Lesson 1: Be careful who you give your heart to
This is a general life lesson, but it’s especially important to keep in mind freshman year of college. The third week of school I met someone and fell head over sneakers for him. I had never been in a relationship before, and I didn’t know what to expect or how to detect red flags. I ended up getting my heart broken, and looking back it was apparent that he only wanted one thing. Many guys (and girls) are only looking to hook-up during that first year at school- and that’s fine. However, they may lead you on and act like they’re interested in a relationship in order to do this, and this is where the lesson comes in: be careful with your heart, and treat it like treasure. Don’t make it too easy to capture, and keep it carefully guarded because it’s not easy to mend once it’s broken.
Lesson 2: Accept that not everyone will like you
Making friends may be difficult- that’s ok. You will make friends, regardless of if it’s immediate or not. That being said, there will be times that you will run into someone who doesn’t like you, for whatever reason. It’s important that you don’t let this person get under your skin. Ignore them and move on. If you engage and get others involved you will create drama, and that’s the last thing you want surrounding you when you’re in a new environment. The important thing to remember is that you have real friends who like you, they are the ones worth focusing on. Responding to toxicity only makes it worse.
Lesson 3: Communicate with your roommate
This one is vital. Your dorm room is the space you live in, the one you come home to every day. If you’re unhappy there you will be miserable at school. My roommate and her boyfriend did things in the room that I was wildly uncomfortable with, and I wish I had communicated that to her (and my RA) sooner, because it would’ve saved me so much time and anxiety. Tell your roommate your preferences right when you get there, so nothing is a surprise and everything is out on the table from the beginning. This way if there is an issue in the future you can refer back to that first day when you let them know that you were not comfortable with XYZ, and take it from there. Also don’t be afraid to talk to your RA when you have issues with your roommate, it’s their job to listen and give you advice or step in if needed.
Lesson 4: Don’t overdo it with the partying
This one’s hard. You’re going to get there and be bombarded with opportunities to drink, smoke, and everything in between. I went to the hospital my freshmen year because I got too paranoid from eating a pot brownie, and let me tell you, that was not a fun phone call to make to my parents. Learn your limit and don’t go past it. It’s not worth the nights of vomiting and blacking out. I’m telling you now: if you get too hungover and start missing class your grades will suffer. Also realize that there are people out there who may try to take advantage of you, and it’s a hell of a lot harder to fight back when you’re drunk. Party and have fun, but don’t overdo it.
Lesson 5: Do your best
In all aspects of life. Study your hardest, make time for your friends, call your parents. Make an effort. When there’s nobody in your ear telling you to get up and do you homework it becomes pretty damn easy to just lay around and not do it. Your mom isn’t going to be there to remind you to call your grandma- you’re going to have to do that yourself too. Friendships will fall apart if you don’t keep up with them. Motivate yourself , set goals and reminders. You’re independent now and have to do things you never had to do alone before.
College is great. I came into my own as a person, and realized who I was separate from my family. That being said this self-sufficiency can be quite scary at first, but once you settle in and learn from your experiences it becomes much more fun. It’s like drinking coffee from a mug that all the sugar has settled onto the bottom of. You sip it and you’re like ‘ What the hell, this is so bitter. I don’t like this’, then you keep going and realize it’s actually pretty sweet.
