What Tony Robbins can teach you about party planning

In a series of blog posts based on self help books and ideas, I’m amazed that it took me this long to get round to Tony Robbins.The man is nothing short of a legend in the self help world and, love him or hate him, he’s made a massive impact in people’s lives.

Mind you, he does have the worst clapping technique I’ve ever seen!

(Evidence can be seen by clicking here)

Anyway, appalling applause technique aside, I thought I’d take a dive into one of his books, Unlimited Power, for today’s Magic Book Club blog post.

I actually bought this book when I was 19 (god, that seems so long ago now!), but didn’t actually bother to read it for years. This is something I did quite frequently, but I have no idea why. I’d get all fired up for a book, buy it and not even open it up.

Maybe it’s my ADHD.

I think I just presumed that I would learn the material via ownership or osmosis.

The book is a great, big, thick tome, that would keep a heavy oak door ajar, even if Geoff Capes were trying to close it. It’s filled with great advice about health and relationships and, as you’d expect from Tony Robbins, it’s very uplifting.

And American.

Anyway, enough eulogising about the book, what’s the tip or hint from it that can help you when it comes to planning your wedding or office party?

You get more of what you focus on!

This advice alone is worth the price of the book. It’s been said by philosophers, psychologists and scientists for years. It’s almost made it’s way into the realm of “common sense” but, as we know, common sense isn’t always that common.

Focus on what you want to happen, not what you don’t want to happen.

Think, “I’m eating a healthy diet and exercising every day”, not, “please don’t think about doughnuts…please don’t think about doughnuts…”

There are a few reasons as to why you should always be focusing on what you do actually want, rather than what you’re trying to avoid.

Psychologists will tell you that, if you’re constantly feeding your mind with a specific idea, the mind will be forced to come up with ways to make it happen. Steven Kotler, writing on the Fast Company blog, highlights how, if you ask yourself a question before going to sleep, letting your subconscious mind work on it through the night, you’ll often wake up with the answer.

We also all happen to be blessed with a Reticular Activation System (RAS), which filters all information sent through our brain. It’s how you can hear your name clear as day in a massive crowd of voices. It’s also why you start seeing lots of blue Ford Mondeos everywhere when you decide that you would like to own one.

Your RAS is a radar detector for everything you choose to focus on. If you focus on things that will make your party happy and successful, it’ll help you find them. If you focus on negative, stressful things, you got it, it’ll help you find them too.

So, there’s the science behind why you should focus on what you want. How does it work in practice?

When you’re planning your wedding, or a party, I know it’s natural to think about the things that can go wrong:

What if it rains?

What if Auntie Hilda shows up drunk…again?

What if nobody turns up?

What if one of the wedding suppliers steals the deposit and doesn’t turn up?

We don’t want to think about this kind of stuff, but we have to and, when we do, it’s hard not to get bogged down in the worry, stress and hassle.

Let’s face it, there’s a massive amount of things that can go wrong when you’re planning an event or a party. Some of them will be in your control, some of them won’t.

And sure, you should always make preparations in case things don’t go totally to plan, but you shouldn’t make that the entire focus of your wedding.

Once you start thinking about the bad things that can go wrong, you start to dwell on them, rather than focusing on the joy; the reason you’re actually having the party in the first place:

Because you love each other.

Because you want your wife to have an awesome birthday.

Because you want to celebrate your child moving to University.

When you focus on the joyful reasons you’re having the party in the first place, you start coming up with more ideas that will bring even more joy, making you feel even more — you guessed it — joy!

If you only focus on the things that can go wrong, you’re just working your way to average.

Plugging holes doesn’t make you feel happy.

You’ll also begin to realise that the little things you were worrying about are just that; little, tiny things that ultimately don’t matter.

If you’re interested in getting the book, you can find Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins on Amazon here. This is an affiliate link which means that I can earn a small amount of pennies if you buy the book via any of the links on this page. It won’t cost you anything extra, but I used to be a cub scout, so I have to be honest about these things.

If you get the book, let me know what you thought. Also, let me know what you think of his clapping…

This post originally appeared on my website (http://www.johnholtmagic.co.uk/what-tony-robbins-can-teach-you-about-party-planning/)