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INSTRUCTIONS FOR NEWCOMERS

Jonathan Chew
Oct 1, 2018 · 2 min read

Writing Prompt — “Here are your instructions:” (6min)

STEP 1: Open the hatch to the panel.
STEP 2: It will have 3 buttons: OPEN, CLOSE, BLOW UP.
— STEP 2A: DO NOT PUSH the BLOW UP button.
STEP 3: Press the OPEN button.
STEP 4: It will simultaneously release the airlocks and lower the down ramp.
STEP 5: Wait for the pop-up handlebars to extend.
STEP 6: Take a large deep breath.
STEP 7: Ask yourself — IS it breathable or are you chocking?
— STEP 7A: If choking, please IMMEDIATELY push the CLOSE button.
— STEP 7B: If it is breathable please proceed to STEP 8.
STEP 8: Walk down the steps.
STEP 9: Put on glasses — they will automatically filter out the particulate in the air so you can see clearly.
STEP 10: Look for lifeforms.
— STEP 10A: If none are present, proceed to walk around and explore. Please reference the Sample Collection Manual (v7.2).
— STEP 11: If they are already waiting for you and staring at you, please head towards the most official looking one.
STEP 12: Wait to see what they do and if they have a weapon.
— STEP 12A: If no weapon is present, mirror their greeting and begin FIRST CONTACT procedures.
— STEP 12B: If weapon is brandished, then please feel free to either put your hands up or open for a hug. DO NOT SHOW YOUR WEAPON.
STEP 13: Emergency Contingency Plan A — If you are wounded, at your own leisure, please proceed back to the ship and push the close button.
STEP 14: Emergency Contingency Plan B — If you are mortally wounded and feel like there is no possibility for future relations and would like to leave a bad taste in their mouths, please proceed back to the ship more quickly and push the BLOW UP button.

Jonathan Chew

Written by

Disney Imagineer. Startup enthusiast. Sci-Fi/Self-Help novelist on a mission to build a Positopian world. Follow me @JonathanGChew or go to: www.chewsjoy.com

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