Resourceful Notre Dame Football Players Melt Down Gold Helmets for Cash

South Bend, Ind. — Just hours before Notre Dame’s season opener Saturday, as many as 26 members of the Fighting Irish football team have melted down their gold helmets for cash.

“Put it this way,” running back Jordan Nelson said, “I could get a bunch of money for selling my helmet, or I could run around on a field for a few hours. What would you do?”

Three South Bend pawn shops are reportedly offering five figures for a single classic Notre Dame helmet, which contains between 8 and 12 oz of gold, analysts say.

The Notre Dame coaching staff is scrambling to adjust its lineup to account for the missing players, who, without helmets, aren’t eligible for Saturday’s game.

“We never expected this, but in hindsight I guess it was a risk to issue helmets made out of actual gold,” a Fighting Irish assistant coach, who wished to remain anonymous, said.

For many of the football players who melted their helmets for cash, it’s a pleasant change of pace to be able to afford to buy lunch, fill up their entire tank of gas, or go to a movie. Not to mention a savings plans for the future.

Wide receiver Maxwell Johnson is hopeful.

“Until today, the players were the only ones not making money on college football,” he said. “And do you know how heavy those helmets were?” Johnson added.

A kicker for the Navy’s football team, whose gray-colored helmet turned out to be imitation silver, gave a firm “no comment” on his way out of an Annapolis-area jewelry store.