I started writing this post one week ago. Never finish writing though, why?? I have no idea. Maybe too many thoughts or maybe I don’t like what I want to write, because we all know, when you write your thoughts down you make it more real. How could I write about Disappoiments or about someone who hurts me deeply, just to open again the scar and make it bleed more? Not at all. it’s right write about it…because it’s a life lesson, it’s something I have to reminds me over and over again.
People will always hurt you, and maybe it’s not their intention either but…they do. You are there, happy and smiling and suddenly boom, Tornado, it washes everything away in 2 days, it’s kind of strange in just 2 days…everything you’ve built in 2 years….gone. In a Blink. Gone. Just like that.
And you are there, trying to find a way to make it works, to repair it…trying to understand and maybe look at things in another perspective, maybe trying to act in a different way, maybe just changing behavior. But…you know what?? When the disappoiments is so huge, is so deep that breaks your hearts in thousands pieces there’s anything you can do to fix it. It’s gone. It’s lost. Change? Why? those words are in your mind, night and day….those words said by someone you really, and I mean REALLY trusted….!!! So what can you do at this point?? There’s nothing you can do but get rid off of this, of this feeling of this thoughts of this disappoiment you had and start thinking it’s life. that’s life, that’s what makes you stronger and that’s what teach you how to be better navigate.
It hurts, yes. It still hurts a lot. Memories are terrible in this phase of acceptance, but that’s it and the earlier you give up on this reality the better is.
Beside, every little tiny pieces of your heart are a clear symbol of changing, you are changed the way you look at whom hurts you is changed. Everything is changed and you weren’t like this, before you were more open, you were ready to accept everything and try to do something, anything to make it works. Now…No! No more…You are important, you are more important than anyone else and no one can steal anything from you, nor your peace or your security or your self-love or your dignity. That’s the pillar in my life right now. that’s what I am. And I love me. If you don’t, if that’s a problem for you, I think you should work on it first and then…maybe you will be able to have relations with other people. I do think, the first step to have a better relation with others is confidence, I mean….if you’re not confident about yourself…why others would ever like something about you if you are yourself first enemy??
It’s something once has been said to me…one of those asshole you met just like that…he really was an asshole, but with this outcome he enlightened me and from that day I started wanting always more from me, always be better than I am today and tomorrow better than I was the previous day and so on. It’s not about over confidence, It’s about knowing you are worth, knowing you are enough for anyone and accept your flaws, ALL OF THEM make you…..YOU….they are part of you and you will find someone who fit perfectly.
It’s about accept yourself in total, every part of you.
That’s all you really need.
SELF LOVE. LOVE YOUR SELF.
“This day, I vow to myself to love myself, to treat myself as someone I love truly and deeply — in my thoughts, my actions, the choices I make, the experiences I have, each moment I am conscious, I make the decision I LOVE MYSELF.”
KAMAL RAVIKANT from the book “Love yourself like your life depends on it”
Is there anything more difficult to do?? I guess not.
This is the most difficult things to do…Love Yourself.
Because you know who you are in the deepest part of you, you know your own thoughts and you know if they are good or bad or worst. And accept it as it is…accept that from time to time you can have weak moments or really really bad thoughts about you or about others, is very very very difficult, but….that’s who you are. You are a human being, like anyone else and sometimes it’s hard control your mind, hard, not impossible.
So…what is the main point here??
Start with an aim…..
Be prepared to the worst…..Be prepared to face anything you’ll have in front of you, Be prepared to Cry a loooooot of tears, be prepared to discover your nightmare ->YOURSELF<- And from there, RESTART ALL OVER AGAIN, with every awarness you have now. with all of your new awarness and with all you decide to accept about youself.
Just…Love the person you are.