I don’t have commitment issues
an open letter to those that gave me what I wanted, but not what I needed

Dear present opportunity,
I’m not afraid of commitment.
I just choose not to settle.
Perhaps I’m selfish in this regard…
because I know my own worth.
& since I know what it’ll take to reach my full potential,
I will not be content having just any job or any relationship.
Thus, for these reasons…
I’m selective of what and whom I choose to pursue.
I see no reason for doing something for the sake of doing it. I don’t need something or someone to pass the time. Do not seek for further explanation or additional reasons why.
I’m not looking for the best option, I’m striving for the only one.
I will not give in to the temptation of convenience.
Presenting me with a good offer will not give you leverage. If I don’t see the potential for growth and development, it is unlikely for us to have a future. I need an opportunity that pressures me into becoming the best version of myself. One that nurtures me in an environment where I don’t feel confined. & instead of feeling angst, I feel valued & appreciated.
I do not need you questioning my skills & abilities, but rather attesting to them.
I am my own priority.
Understanding what is in my best interest is something that I have responsibility over. Everything that I say or do will impact my future. My career path. My family. My happiness. The decisions that I make aren’t permanent [because nothing ever is], but they are influential; they determine the life I live.
Don’t doubt that I’ve considered you, too.
& maybe that’s the problem. I’ve thought about you. Dreamt for this day to come. Where you would finally present yourself to me… yet, I’m not fully committed to you & that’s an issue. I am the type to dedicate my whole life to things and/or people that I commit to. So, if I cannot willingly give myself to you, inevitably, we will both suffer.
I shouldn’t feel obligated to choose you, I should feel inclined to.
Do not try to convince me otherwise.
Based on my future goals, I know what I need. & while you are presenting yourself at the right time, you are merely a want. You are part of a fantasized ideology that I cannot accept.
I do not need you to fill a void in my life, but rather to avoid trying to fulfil my life.
Thus, for these reasons…
I will not be content having just any job or any relationship.
Since I know what it’ll take to reach my full potential,
& because I know my own worth…
perhaps I’m selfish in this regard.
I just choose not to settle.
I’m not afraid of commitment.
I appreciate you for presenting yourself, opportunity.
