Stay confused. Stay amazed. Stay strong. But don’t stay the same as everyone else. The note i write to myself.

Life is difficult they say. No one leads an easy life.
As the general opinion goes, “Be in someone’s shoes to see the path they tread.”

In mine,

I see myself as a versatile person, someone who can adapt and be a Roman in Rome. I would even call myself an amateur polymath.

In simpler words I am that jack of many trades and the master of none. Many a times it is used as a negative description. Somehow I like that phrase, I idolize Jack. He knows a lot.

There are people who choose to know a lot in a single field and then there are others that choose to know little about a lot of sectors. This variety together provides the innovation this world needs.

They can together be creative and give it shape. The experts put forth the ideas and the Jacks are the ones that pull all the possible strings to get it done.

What is bothering me?

It bothers me that I am at a point where I have to choose. I have to decide where I want to be and what I want to do based on the experiences of the less than 100 people I know and their acquaintances among the 4 billion people older than me in the world.

It is expected of me to make the choice. I have to take up something that I am still confused about.

I am not a quitter. I know I will eventually be good at anything I take up. I will learn.

But what if?

What if something else would have been better for me?

What if I lose that gift I had, simply because I never give it a serious chance?

Is there a way I can keep pursuing my interests until I find out what I enjoy? Where I won’t be just working, But performing?

I will be learning a lot in the process. meeting new people. gaining new experiences, building ideas. Will I be growing?

Hell yeah, I will!

But will I be making money? Will I be making money to buy my dad a car? Buy that upper middle class apartment? Surprise my sister with expensive gifts? Treat my mom for their anniversary in expensive restaurants? Ask the hand in marriage of the girl I love claiming to have settled now?

…..

….

That is a doubt.

These require you to do something specific. Something that makes sure your account balance is ready every month.

Whatever you are, wherever you go. That is what matters, at-least for your survival. Unless you are a social worker or a psychopath. In which case, only your level of sanity matters. Politics, even that doesn’t matter.

Sadly most choose the safest and easiest ways to get there. Learn some skills and sit in a cubicle. Make money for the bosses.

People tell you to go forth with your passion. Very few people know what theirs is. Some are over enthusiastic and even choose the wrong one. That can be disastrous. One should rather keep experimenting than conclude wrong.

I won’t call myself a safe player, rather someone who takes calculated risks.

I see myself as,

That guy who knows almost everyone, I am that guy people approach to know how to get stuff done. I want to be that person that knows who has influence, where?

Do people favors by asking the right ones to do it for them.

For that,

I build a network. I need my eyes everywhere. I need to be there to set my ground there. I take people forward along with me. I provide them with what they need to take it all front.

Is there a name for what I want to be? I haven’t come across something suitable yet.

What matters here to be that person?

Power. It is much more powerful than Money. It is one thing to have the post and the power as a result of the post. But you are at risk. You are off the position and you are out of power. The society doesn’t have the same use of you.

But what if you are the person that decides who sits the chair, who plays and who gets injured?

The King maker — as the common people call it.

I know I talk as if I have seen a lot. But that is the first step. I should believe myself that I know, and that I can decide.

So did I decide what I want to be? Yes I think I have.

I have decided I will not lead a monotonous life.

Not a 9–5 job that will require me to mail my seniors for extra holidays and reimbursements.

I will not sit and check accounts everyday of the same type of work.

Simply because I want to feed the Jack in me. He isn’t a master. He is the mast that holds the shrouds of the ship. He gets the ship going because he makes sure the sails collect the wind and he can get it to push the entire ship in the direction that the captain wants.

I have decided I want to be in a lot of places. I have decided to know about a lot of domains and know enough to get them running. Which will not be little.

A Capitalist. A business man. A proprietor. An entrepreneur.

But that is what I want to be. Will I get there?

Time will not decide. I will decide. Time will play a role in it though.

#A Simple Guy here.