Whenever someone asks, “How are you doing?” or “How have you been?”
I find it very difficult to answer, because life is so complex that there is not a simple answer. Life is historical, personal, interpersonal, institutional, societal, political, and many other dimensions that I definitely have forgotten here. I wonder how many details should I give to this person asking the question, because I am not sure I have a complete answer for myself either.
To me, this question is really asking “How do I feel about yourself?” and “Am I becoming the person I aspire to be?” These questions demand that I have clarity about myself and my life. “Do I have clarity?” “Am I becoming the ideal version of myself? Am I achieving my full potential?” Personally I think a lot, and these thoughts carry a lot of weight and pressure, because who am I if I am not who I want to be? Does that mean I have failed? I wan to take a step back and try to answer an even simpler question “Am I happy?”
There are few moments of tranquility in my life. When I let go of all the expectations and try to do good for myself and others, I feel alive. The mission of finding a purpose or finding a meaning in life is really stressful and depressing. Sometimes it’s better not to think about deep philosophical and existential questions, because they are just utterly depressing, since they make me think that I haven’t done enough when really I just want to take a break from everything.
My new life aspiration is to practice living in the state of tranquility, and I want to write content that makes people (me) think a little bit. That’s it. Life is much better when it’s just about living simply.
The world is fucked up.
But remember to look up at the stars.
peace.- 2019/06/26 CJW (https://chijuiwu.space/)