As I promised in the previous blog, i will tell you a situation, where I avoided an argue. It happened in the previous semester. But that situation is very suitable for this blog.
That was spring, and I came to KBTU, because i had lessons. I was searching for parking place, and driving slowly. However at one moment, another car drived out from the parking place. It was rapidly, and at the next second i heard crack and felt a push. So while i was driving, this car didn’t see me. He was getting out of his parking place and bumped my car. I became really angry, however i knew that he was guilty.
(Some photos of damage)
I got out of the car, and saw that another driver is older man. At this moment i was no longer angry, because that person was older than me, about 40–45 years old, and i had to respect him, cause we must respect older people. I said hello to him, and asked why he bumped my car. I was very polite, and didn’t show him amy anger. That man said that he didn’t see me. I said that it is not the end of the world. We looked to our cars, and my car’s backward bumper was scratched and rumpled a little. So I explained that he is not right in this situation, because I was riding on the main road. He thought a lot, and at the end agreed with me. We decided not to call police, and solve it between us. He asked me, how much it will cost, and i answered. And after that he gave me money to repair my car. It was less than i said, but pretty enough to repair my car.
So all of this accident took only about 10–15 minutes, and in case of I argued with this person, it could take much more time, and I would be late to my lessons.
At this time i didn’t know about the book «how to win friends and influence people», however, I didn’t argue with that person. I acted very similar to what i try to do now, after reading the book. The reason that I didn’t argue with that person, was because he was a lot older than me.
So here is an real example from my life, why disputes are not necessary and even harmful in most situations.