As I wrote in my statement below, ability to listen to other people is very good action in conversation. There is also another thing, that helped me to get more desired companion. It is an ability to show your interest to others. In «how to win friends and influence people, Carnegie says that mostly, every one thinks about themselves. And most powerful tool in being desired, is being interested.
I already wrote about listening to others, and being interested in other people, is pretty same thing. But it is very important, that you are doing it sincerely. In other case, it will bring only negative emotions. You will be unnatural, and a person who you talk to, will think that you are doing that in your own interests. I already got such a bad situation.
I am a dombra player, and I have a lot of musician friends. One of them is Asel. She is violinist, and few days ago she returned from Italy, were she won grand prize in musical competition called Sanremo musical festival. And when we met, I started to ask her about it, and how was that. She was explaining me her impressions, and I was listening to her. She is very beautiful girl, and I like her. Also it is a situation, that i want to build relationships with her.
At time, we were talking, I remembered the book, and thought, why not to use the advices from the book. My best idea was to show her that I am interested in what she is saying. It was a stupid situation, because in our conversation, she was only speaker. And my «interest in our conversation» was very unnatural. Then she started to understand, that I am not interested in what she is saying, and that I only pretend that I am listening. It made her a bit angry, and I was in really awkward situation.
All of that happened because I wasn’t interested sincerely, and was only pretending. So that makes a sense. I recommend to every one to use this advice from the book only heartily. However, if you are not sure, don’t pretend.