Why Can’t We Just Be Happy For Each Other?

How to Stop The Inner Cringe When Good Things Happen to Someone Else

Chinae Alexander
Jul 16, 2013 · 5 min read

What’s that growing pit in your stomach when your friend announces she’s engaged, even though you knew this was the plan (hell you helped pick the ring!)? Shit, you even like the guy.

What’s that internal gnawing feeling when your coworker gets a promotion? Even though they completely deserve it, and it doesn’t affect you, not one bit.

What’s that slight sting when the guy/gal who you really weren’t even that “in” to, looks better than the last time you saw them? (Damn that life-altering haircut…who knew bangs could change everything?)


But most importantly, what is…

That unsettling, unexplainable peace that comes with someone else’s failure, turmoil, or misfortune?


Over the past few months, this subject has ripped me apart time and time again…how can I claim to love people fully, yet I can’t wholeheartedly experience unabashed joy during their triumphs in life? What are the barriers to entering shared celebration people we do life with and how do we leave these behind forever?

By no means is this a complete or finite list, but through some self-seeking and acute listening/absorbing in my outer social sphere, here are some reasons I think we’ve lost our ability to celebrate others:

So what do we do?

We have to change our mindset and behavior to reflect what we’d desire from others when we share our own victories. Here are some practical ways that have helped me on the way…

Practicing Happiness For Others:

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    Chinae Alexander

    Written by

    Writer, Publicist, Adventurer, and Entrepreneur in New York City.