Classroom of countries

Britain copied India’s food tech project on tea and got all the credit

Britain’s complicated. Triplets, in fact: England, Scotland and Wales. Northern Ireland is Britain’s half-sibling but likes to associate with Britain. Ireland, Northern Ireland’s half-sibling, lives with their own dad.

Britain used to bully a lot of kids at school, often taking advantage of pupils like India, Nigeria and South Africa. For instance, Britain copied India’s food tech project on tea and got all the credit for it. This isn’t dissimilar to when Italy copied Ethiopia’s coffee project and passed it off as their own. Britain used to take Nigeria’s dinner money. Vandalised South Africa’s house, permanently injuring South Africa’s parents in the process. Somehow, Britain still managed to retain their reputation, everyone wanted to be like them. But one day, the very pupils Britain used to bully rose up in revolt. Britain backed off and let them be for a while.

During this moment of calm, Britain got really close with France, Germany, Holland, Spain and Portugal, a solid friendship group consisting of many more students but Germany and Brussels tended to have the loudest voices. These lot seemed pretty close, did everything together. Everyone in this group consistently did well in their studies. However there was a strange bullying culture. Everyone found out Greece was broke and failed Maths via a WhatsApp group that omitted Greece. It was from then that Britain wanted to leave the conversation.

America joined not long before Britain started bullying people. Affectionately known as “The States,” they copied the British triplets and started ripping into religious students like Iraq and Afghanistan. Britain didn’t quite understand why America got involved in other pupil's business but because of their “special relationship,” Britain imitated America a lot. The troublesome family and America thought they ruled the school.

However there were issues in the friendship group Britain was involved in. Britain thought Brussels was having too much of a say in the group. Due to previous bullying history, Britain had a slight superiority complex. They decided to leave and didn’t want anyone in the group copying them. In fact, Britain claimed the day they left the clique as “Independence Day.”

Copying was frequently done by other pupils in a way to get ahead and achieve higher grades than the average. Lots of kids did it, there wasn’t anything inherently wrong. Yet America, Britain and other countries who seemed to be doing well in school stigmatised copying. They didn’t want anyone else to imitate them, despite the fact that they mimicked other pupils to get ahead in the first place.

Britain found that leaving their clique left them feeling rather isolated. France would still invite Britain to their parties but nobody said hi to Britain. Britain felt like an idiot. Still wanting good grades, Britain found it harder to keep up with the rest of their friendship group once alone and without using other pupils’ resources. The irony was, other kids continued to copy Britain.

Britain was frequently discovered in the corridors crying, wondering if the special relationship with America was over. Scotland was frustrated and didn’t want to be associated with the Britain family and was coerced into staying against their will.

America saw what Britain did and thought it was stupid. “I’m not gonna stop talking to Britain’s old friendship group just because of a fall out. In fact, Britain’s moved to the back of the popularity queue. I want friends.” That’s until America’s mother remarried a strange looking, irrational man. America started to behave erratically. Teachers thought perhaps the reason for this was America’s new step dad. Then America’s step dad forbade teachers from having a say in America’s behaviour. He stormed out of parent’s evening and took to writing passive aggressive tweets against various members of staff.

Sensing America’s increased isolation, Russia squealed with delight. See, despite being rich and relatively successful Russia had always been an outcast in school and was desperate to make friends. Russia was very unpopular after bullying students like the Czech Republic and Ukraine landed Russia in hot water. Russia wasn’t desperate enough to befriend the ultimate social reject North Korea – but took a liking to America. Seeing as America hated their new step dad; an act of defiance led America to befriend Russia in order to piss everyone off.

Teachers grew concerned as this had never happened before. America and Russia’s families had traditionally never gotten along! What was going on?

The classroom’s future had become very uncertain.