the WAR called LOVE

There is the sense that LOVE is some campaign with the intent of winner takes all — including a subdued and humbled carcass. Not sure why but that’s the sense i get. That need to control the outcome from the very beginning as soon as the age of excitement and discovery is OVER — it become a trench fight.
 Soon subtle and not so subtle plays on each other start to take place. Then comes the gentle guiding and controlling antics.
 AS they say: All’s fair in love and war.
 But is Love a war? Or rather i should ask: what type of war does one wage when matters of the heart are on the table? Who ultimately wins? Is there meant to be a winner?
 The hollywood movies seem to have hit on some kind of format. Even the happy ever after stories have the same idea — they get the part of great strife but they wrongly assume that a “Happy ever after” exists.
 I think it does at some level but not without growing the muscle required to make it truly worth it. The happy ever after state is REALLY a state of contentment or fulfillment. Nothing is truly happy ever after unless you have fought for it or have come to truly understand the REAL value and meaning of what you have.
 Its like keeping your eyes on the finish line and being distracted by those behind you. Those behind don’t matter — what matters is that you touch the finish line first.
 In a nutshell — FOCUS.
 One must also be willing to let go of the fears and doubts that keep making a dramatic comeback like a bad movie script. Faith and fear cannot exist in the same place competing over the same thing. These are habits that are breed and cultivated. You let it in — you can also throw it out.
 It matters that you love but it matters more that you know what you have. The notion of proving or pursuing is so outdated that it makes one wonder what the fuss is all about. Why must someone prove to you when you either know or don’t know? Why must someone convince you as to the state of your emotions or feelings when you are in a FAR better state to tell them what you feel?
 What after all are these pesky feelings? They are like entanglements that become substituted for the main thing. What then is the main thing? The main thing is the conviction that you truly know you have or need and that resides in you regardless of what time of the day it is.
 That is something that we see less of. The reason is not so far fetched — we’re spoon fed the very nuances of our thoughts. TV, CABLE, MAGAZINES tells us what to think and sometimes even how to think. We barely challenge anything that seems to come from an authority figure without realizing that this isn’t a one size fits all scenario. There are always variations and there will always continue to be variations.
 We have a tendency to see everything through the narrow filters of our perception.
 As they say: If you have a hammer; everything that comes along tends to look like a nail to be hit.
 This state of ours is far from over. It hounds us from time to time and tests us to the limit. We become poets of reason in our bid to understand a state of mind that has no true verbal expression.
 Ask your self this: Have you had anyone able to correctly describe what love is? Answer: No.
 We only describe what it looks like or feels like.
 That’s because we cannot use the verbal facility to describe a state of mind. There is simply no correlation.
 And don’t argue this: It is a state of mind. It serves a function in the broader sense of human evolution asides the sappy cinematics that hollywood would have us believe. A case of life imitating ART.
 No battle is ever won without casualties. Fight wisely or at least with the long term in plain view.
 Remember — emotions pass. Convictions on the other hand are more lasting until they are displaced by better convictions. At the end of the day, we are masters of our fate — the ability to stir the boat through the various strife in our lives is a testament to a deeper commitment.

Originally published at on August 15, 2016.

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