how tf am i paying for college

no really how. I have one tab open on studentscholarships.com hoping to bigne my life for the next 9 hours until I leave to go watch 47 Meters Down (idk why) and The Beguiled. Within those 9 hours I am aiming to just dedicate my life to writing essays and murdering theses scholarship apps.

So far, I have abotu $30,000 in tuition & room and board to pay for, and I have about $0 in scholarships and grants.

I don’t want to take out a butt ton of loans, but truly I have no other option because I’m not going to a CC. At this point I will probably apply to transfer to PVAMU because I know they would’ve given me a shit ton of money for being in the top 5% alone.

UT Austin is a great school, heck it’s been my dream school but I seriously am terrified of the looming number of reality that I will be $100,000 in debt.

There is the gamble of , bust ass still apply for scholarships while at school, do internships pay off with that if I even land a solid internship. Bust ass all four years in hopes that I land a solid CS job in the middle of my senior so I am set, and can potentially pay off my loans in a matter of two or three years.

That’s rare and only possible by a sliver of my luck.

In the meantime I will keep apply for scholarships while people keeps rejecting me. The future terrifies me, but I will just have to see what it holds.

I just pray a few miracles happen so that I can pay my tuition and my board and get this degree and freaking triumph this tech world. I have so many goals and ambitions, all laid out in my scholarship essays and even my admission essays for UT. I know what I want in life, I just need to bust ass. I’m going to work all the part time or full time jobs, I’ll do delivery, apply for scholarships, hell I’ll be a janitor. I gotta do what I gotta do. I might just get on my Good Will Hunting game.

Just about one month and 17 days until classes officially start and I’m terrified, but excited. It won’t be easy…what-so-freaking-ever but it is something I have wanted to do for years and something I must do.

I have alot of self doubt in myself academically and financially, just freaking process the fact that Santiago Gonzales in in GRAD SCHOOl in the same program and school I am about to attend. The name Santiago Gonzales may not mean anything to you, but he’s a genius to me.

I’m nervous about the future, I haven’t signed up for my classes yet my orientation is a week for my classes begin, I haven’t bought my bedding or anything, I don’t even have a list of what I need, I don’t know what to pack ro how to pack up my life.

I might need to go into OCD mode to prep for school. I am about to move 3 hours away from my home I have been living in for 17 years. I’m broke, I feel liek im dangerously underqualified, and I’m excited.

I hope to start a podcast with someone at school eventually, I feel that will be awesome. I also hope to be successful and truly strive and excel in my classes.

I just….I’m about to leave for college in a month and 17 days.

Let’s see what the future brings

  • hook em’

— Stay Speedy

-Silk

p.s idk what this post even was. i literally planned on writing “im broek as fuck and cant afford college” then thiss happened

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