learning to program is hard man.

it’s really really hard for me.

I’m sitting here in my bed in my room at 10:36pm.

I’ve been in my room all day for the past 4 days trying to figure out a stupid Twitter Oauth client side code bs thingy majiggy.

Im trying to maake a button. A bloody button. To log into stuid twitter so I can display people’s stupid timelines. For a stupid chrome app.

stupid, stupid,stupid.

4 days it’s been, that’s only counting me back from tronot. I have beben actually tryign to figure out the code to this stupid button for nerly a month.

Is it worth it? Will it be worth it? Am I learnign anything?

What am I doing.

But it’s sick.

I have a ahunger to figure this out. A hunger to code. I don’t do anythign else but code whilst wtahcing Youtube/listenign to podcast.

(Right now iI’m listenignt o Cloverfeels podcast with John Goodman*, it is unREAL)

I would code till my eyes are blood shot red at 5am, btu I knwo thata’s not what I need.

I won;t even start on school and all thata bs comign up bc I don’t care.

I care about my code.

I cant even process anythign else rn.

I tooka break a cuple days ago to see Suicide Squad that’s only bc I’ve waitign nearly two years for that.

Back to my code.

What the hell. What the h3LL.

Why is this so haard? Why am I so stuck?

Why can’t I figure this out???

It feels like I shoudl FEEl like I want to give up, bt in reality, I dont want to stop. I feel liek the Google links and Stackoverflow links are runnign out but. iDK.

I am really writing this to helf motivate myself to keep going, btu also take a breaka right now to refresh. I’ve been tryign to figure otu thsi on thing sicne 9am, it’s beena bout 13 hours. Y’know…

I feel really really dumb. It’s like I am walkign around an empty room with these 4 puzzle pieces blindfolded. All I need to do is put thos epieces togethe rbut I’m blind so that’s real hard man.

AGAIN. Backtracking, I am writing this poorly typed piece for me. I am writing this for half motivation and reminder that rest is a necessity for full throttle work ethic the next day. The othe rhalf is so that I can look back at this post in a day, a week, a month, a year,….and say. “Holy sh*t I was really blind. I was a BABY. That OAUTH code is so SIMPLE. How did I not see it!!! I wish I just clicked this link or typed this question into r/leanprogramming earlier!!! The stress was so useless!!!

I really hope and literally pray that I figure this out man. It seems dumb but this is what I want. So when I complete this app, I look back and I’m proud of me. I have something to show fo rmy hard work.

I really hope I figure thsi shit out. If you’re a sweet sweet legit programmer and can help me with this FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Help me out plz.

I’m listening to the John Goodman podcast right now while typing this and after I publish this I am goign to watch Green Room because Anton Yelchin was amazing an dpassionate (RIP) and I’ve heard great things and I’m still riding off the high and fascination I have from seeing 10 Cloverfield Lane last night.

I really love film.

I might go back to doing opinion pieces or reviews bc those are nice and make me happy. We will see bc I’m lazy scum.

(so many spelling errors in this that i refuse to fix bc im tired)