How This One Negative Habit Kills Joy in Your Life…and What to Do About It.

Chip Franks
May 22, 2018 · 3 min read

“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more?”
― Roy T. Bennett

So I had an interesting conversation recently with a lady who was looking for a home.

She had been driving from up North to Texas to visit her son, and she’s going to be moving to Texas soon as they’ve retired and sold a business. They’re able to purchase the home in cash.

But it seems that when she asked about three homes she wanted to see, they were all sold l, and fairly recently — one the previous day, and one that day.

When I delivered the news to her, she said something that stuck with me:

“Oh, that’s just my luck.”

As in, she just has bad luck, and here it is manifested again in this way.

Let’s look at this for a second:

  • She took breath in the morning.
  • She’s able to form coherent thoughts and actually speak them to others.
  • She’s healthy.
  • She’s married and driving with her husband.
  • She’s visiting a grown child to whom she will be moving much closer.
  • She was able to create a business that provided a good living.
  • She was able to sell that business for a substantial sum, and now she gets to do what she wishes with her time.

Yet when told a few homes weren’t available, the immediate, knee-jerk reaction was essentially,

“I’m not lucky.”

In fact, I’ll take it further. What that is really saying is,

“I’m not blessed.”

But literally all of the evidence in the world refutes this.

Here’s the thing I’d warn us about:

If we argue for our limitations (I.e. “I’m not lucky”) THEN WE GET TO KEEP THEM.

If we think this way, we will tend to find evidence of this negative thought everywhere.

“Oh the light turned red right before I got to the light.”

“I have to work at this job for the next 8 years, so I can have enough money in my pension.”

“I’m just not good at relationships.”

“I don’t like to read.”

But, as fate and fortune would have it, the converse is also true:

If we truly believe that we are blessed, then we will ALSO find evidence of this everywhere.

That’s the exciting part. It’s one of the many, many, cool, quirky and exciting things about this wonderful existence in which we find ourselves.

What are some of the blessings in your life now?

If you think hard enough, can you find a blessing even in the “bad” things?

You see, I find that this is the mark of an extremely healthy emotional person — to find good even in the bad. Once you have that nearly mastered (I don’t know that we can reach TRUE mastery with this, as it usually does take some reframing of our thoughts), then this life gets much, much better.

So, how do we get there? The best way I’ve found is to practice appreciating everything. It’s the philosophy of “Amor Fati.” Love all that is. Enjoy appreciation in ALL things.

For me, the path to getting here has been paved with several DAILY appreciation sessions. I write out appreciation in the morning and at night. I set my phone alarm to go off each day with a great reminder to stop and appreciate the miracle of it all.

I recently bought a coin/medallion to keep in my pocket that has “Amor Fati” on it, that reminds me to keep my mind and spirit in appreciation. If you’re interested in that, Google the “Daily Stoic Amor Fati coin.”

The point is that it’s a PRACTICE. If we leave it to chance, then the weeds will take the garden and we’ll revert right back to that negative state of mind that so easily returns.

So, with this post I invite you to appreciate it all.

Thank you, I appreciate you joining me in this thought!

Chip Franks

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Chip Franks

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5 SIMPLE Strategies to Get More From Life (By Tomorrow Morning)

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