Vine and Fig Tree

“ Everyone will sit under their own vine and under their own fig tree, and no one will make them afraid”

I’m really appreciative of a lot of things. I have a family that supports me unconditionally, and I live with all the first world luxuries that come with this beautiful place I call home. I recently got to witness my dear friend marry the love of his life. Yet I can’t shake off the feelings of sadness. I want to be happy, yet can’t bring myself to it.

Everyone fails, makes mistakes, and struggles. I know I’m not alone in my struggles. Yet I’ve done nothing but fail for a year. I struggled so hard for so long with absolutely nothing to show for it. In a time that is supposed to be the prime of my life, I’ve gone nowhere in every single aspect of my life. I failed professionally, academically, in relationships, and so much more. I want to be done feeling frustrated and bitter.

I don’t want to just get by. I don’t want things to be easy. What I do want is something to show for my efforts. I want the feeling of accomplishment again, and I want to be proud of myself and what I do again. I’m stuck in a cycle of confusion and regret, one I can’t break.

The only thing in I ask for is a chance to work for a sense of peace, under my vine and fig tree.