return 2/3 2017=startswith(“new set”)
It’s interesting when think about the first moment when I back to my town Shanghai from Berlin. Now when I think of the reason why I back, the key reason it’s me, for I always the physo and extrem kind of animal to make a fast doeskins, once any idea flashed by my mind then take the quick action. That is why I always have OCD to finish task I set before the day finshes otherwise I won’t sleep till the dawn raises. (that’s the passion I had before). However, when the day I back to my hometown on the middle of April, I don’t any passion and interests in life, for someone made me so down and disappointed, for I aways try to move close to him…. and my family is also not welcoming me back, I have a complicated family. So I decided to plan a “perfect leave plan”, to leave some money for my family then climb the highest mountain and jump.
But one moment changed me, I just realiezd I was blind so deeply and I missed so much opportunity, for I closed my heart to so many people and only cared about something maybe not so worthy…. So now I told myself, give myself another chance to stand again. For I do fall, but I’m still in the status to know and learn how to stand more higher again in a good pose. And for I left Berlin, the city I actually loved so much for the tech part, so I think I will come back again soon, this time I will come back totally for myself and continued my project there.
Maybe I was defined myself a loser or shit before, but now I will change it’s and make it on the progress. What all I learned for the last half year is:
- always live somewhere that passionate you
- not bad to come back and even your family look down you
- not bad to stay in darkness for a while
- not bad to get lost
- not bad to loss anything
for all the “bad” that will transfered a new energy to make you see something more deeply and feel it in a pain mood, then you will conert them into new fuel.
Today after the 1/3 2017 is passed, I told myself, it’s time to restart, even I lost anything but I still have me, a new part of me.
Maybe the real meaning of life, is lost, fail and regain and stand up again. For I know I never need anything is “same”, that is why I was always move and change, also risk cost is varied in different time set. :) If I’m not beat to broken totally, I will always have ability to rebuild myself.