Social Engineering Sales Techniques: How to Build Trust with Prospects

I love applying techniques from one field to another, for example social engineering and sales. In this three-part blog series, I’ll be focusing on building rapport, eliciting information, and influencing people.

Think of these techniques not as a replacement for full sales methodologies, but as small techniques you can layer on top.

Applying social engineering in an ethical way

Before you call me the devil, let me share my thoughts on how to apply social engineering to sales. I don’t condone any action, such as overtly lying to a customer. What I’m looking for a small techniques that may lower defenses when you’re trying to strike up a conversation or building trust.

If in doubt, always apply this ethical guideline: Would it significantly hurt your relationship with this customer? If so, don’t do it.

Don’t only stay on the right side of the law but also don’t do anything that could reflect badly on you or your company. Aim to build life-long relationships with your colleagues, partners and customers.

That said, here are some techniques I recommend for building rapport fast.

Third-party conversation starter

Let’s say you’re trying to strike up a conversation — at an airport, at a networking event, at a trade show. My recommendation is not to talk about yourself or the other person (one is a little too narcissistic, the other too direct). Rather think about a third-party reference that can get the conversation started:

“Why do you think the flight is overbooked today — is there some type of event?”

Artificial time constraints

Feedback from sales people I have worked with is that this is the technique that has gotten the best results for them. When I get a sales call on the phone, my first instinct is “oh my god, they’re going not going to let me off the phone for the next 20 minutes”. As a result, I clam up and push back.

To pre-empt this as a sales professional, try the technique of telling your prospect that you have a time constraint. For example:

“I have a call in 4 minutes but wanted to quickly reach out to you. I saw that you downloaded some information and I just wanted to briefly check in if you had any questions.”

This signals to the prospect that you won’t keep them long. I have heard that some sales professionals have had 20 minute conversations after this opener.

Note that this is different from the usual time constraint that sales people like to use, which is “this offer expires tomorrow”. You’re not putting pressure on the prospect but actually pulling away.

Play around with this technique. There are many reasons why you may not have time. One I used in my social engineering call during the competition was:

“I have to pick up my kids in a few minutes.”

In case you want to see the full call, here it is:

These first two examples (and some more below) are from Robin Dreeke’s book It’s Not All About Me. Highly recommended read.

Accommodating non-verbals

If you have an in-person sales call, ensure that your non-verbals are accommodating. This blog post cannot even scratch the surface of this topic, but here are some examples of what I mean:

• Raising your chin up comes across as arrogant. Lowering your chin slightly is more accommodating. Make sure you don’t overdo it and look like the kid that was caught stealing cookies.
• A slight head tilt can signal both that you are friend, not foe, and is a good sign of active listening.

For more tips on non-verbals, check out Joe Navarro’s book What Every Body Is Saying.

Slower rate of speech

I always cringe when I have a fast-talking sales person on the line. Yes, time is money. And yes, you’ve heard the pitch 10,000 times. However, you’re trading speed for efficiency.

Studies have shown that people don’t tend to trust other people that talk too fast. Slow down your speech. Focus on intonation, enunciate properly, and make it a pleasure to listen to you.

And please, don’t sound like you’re reading.

Stand up and smile on the phone

Body posture will influence how you come across on the phone. You’ll project better and seem more confident. Stand up when you’re making an important pitch. Smile while you’re doing it.

Sounds weird, totally works. If you haven’t heard about Power Posing, watch this TED Talk:

Small ask for help

People are nice. They like to help. So ask for it. Small asks for help are often granted. Here’s an example:

“I’d really appreciate your help because I haven’t been able to find this information online: Is most of your marketing department out of Houston or Denver?”

This puts your prospect into a positive and compliant frame of mind. For example, if they grant you this answer, they will feel cognitive dissonance if they decline the next question. That’s why it’s important to keep your ask as light as possible. You can ask for bigger things once you have built the relationship.

Note that I put a “because” into the sentence. If you give a reason, no matter how weak, people are more likely to grant your request.

Suspend your ego

Swallow your pride when you’re talking to a prospect. Talk about them, not you. Don’t feel that you need to impress them.

The important thing is that you make the prospect feel good about themselves.

Some sales techniques want you to make the prospect “stand in a moment of pain” by asking a challenging question that highlights how much they need the solution you’re selling. This is powerful, but you should ensure that you are associated with the solution, not the problem, and you should try to build a little bit of a relationship before you go here.

It’s all about them

Make sure that the prospect is doing most of the talking. People like to talk, and their preferred subject is themselves. Give them that privilege. You’ll learn a lot for your sales discovery, and you’re building the relationship at the same time.

If you’re having lunch with a prospect, take a look at the plates: If the prospect’s plate is empty first, you’re doing too much talking.

If you sense that the other person notices they’ve been sharing more than you, sprinkle in a few details about yourself. Make it balanced.

Validate their opinions and don’t judge

People don’t like to be judged. It makes them feel not okay about themselves. Be non-judgmental with ideas the customer brings up. That doesn’t mean that you have to accept everything they are saying.

Let’s say the customer said something that goes against what your company would recommend. One reply could be:

“T hat’s an interesting perspective. I hadn’t considered that before. I see how that makes sense in your situation. Let me talk to our experts and come up with a few additional options for you to choose from.”

Show trust

The fastest way to make other people trust you is to trust them first. One easy way to show trust is to give them advantageous information:

“Of course I’d like to sell you our enterprise tier option, but to be honest, it sounds like you’ll get everything you need with the business tier, and you’ll save 30%.”

Make sure that you’re not telling them something that’s really under NDA.

These are the first steps to build a relationship. The best sales professionals I have met build a symbiotic relationship with their customers that they keep their lifetime, even when they switch companies. Don’t do anything that would jeopardize the relationship. Treat these tips more as an instruction manual on how to work with people so that you can build trust faster.

Next: Elicitation Techniques

If you’ve found this post on building trust interesting, check out part 2 of this series, where you learn how to elicit valuable information from your prospects.