Knowing when to stay the course or change is crucial to finding happiness and success.

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How do you want others to see you?

Aha! That’s the wrong question that plays tricks on our minds.

Begin with — how do you want to see yourself? You must start from within. It’s the beginning of how you build your character, and it’s how you get into the right mindset to live a life of abundance and success.

This isn’t about deceiving people or hard-wiring something into your brain that isn’t true. …

Committing and finding purpose have a major psychological effect on achievement.

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What do you envision the moment will look like? The moment when you’ve accomplished something truly great — something you’ve dreamed about and hoped you’d achieve for a long, long time. Surely you have an image of this in your mind, right? I do. I play it back in my imagination several times each day.

Oddly enough — or maybe not so odd — I’m there on my own. Alone.

I raise my arms in exultation to the sky, sun on my face, chills down my body, and it’s there in that moment that it hits me: all the hard work, sweat, tears, moments of anxiety, fear, frustration, doubt, anger, hopelessness, happiness, joy, faith and encouragement were worth it. …

Tweak your approach to make the difference.

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Looking out into the vast outdoors outside my window, I honed in on an invisible target. I was staring into the abyss. Everything in my life looked perfect: a luxury car, luxury apartment, white-collar job. But that was the view from the exterior. On the inside, everything looked like a mess. I was unhappy. I was wasting time.

As my mind began to wander, I imagined what life would look like 10 years down the road if I kept going and never realized my dreams. This was the beginning of self-discovery to find out who I truly was, and what I was all about. …

The power is in the habits and the plan.

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Each day, whether we realize it or not, we endeavor to compete for something; the affection or love of a partner, a promotion in the workplace or, with ourselves, to become bigger, bolder and better people.

Herein, I provide seven steps on how you can build the right routine to live a fulfilling life. As you read these steps, visualize and imagine your personal definition of success. Think about how your definition of success jives with the following habits and principles.

Determine whether you are already incorporating them into your daily routine- or if you can begin introducing them into your day. …

The late actor's message on living a fulfilling life implores us to get to the core of who we truly are.

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One week ago, we lost a truly special person. Actor Chadwick Boseman succumbed to a several year fight with colon cancer. It wasn’t until his passing that we realized just how special this man really was. He’s left a legacy that all of us can learn and profit from if we pay close attention to what it means to live a purpose-driven life.

Boseman played memorable roles, including Jackie Robinson in 42, T’Challa in Black Panther and James Brown in Get On Up. …

We can be heroes. First, let’s learn from those who came before us.

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A hero is, “a person noted for courageous acts or nobility of character.”

My question for you is, what does a hero mean to you? As I’ve looked back at my life and seen courageous acts from men and women in uniform that have fought and died for their country, as well as police, firemen and EMT workers that gave their lives to help others save theirs on 9/11.

I’ve witnessed true nobility of character from my parents, brothers, teachers and athletes I deeply admire. …

It takes more than motivation to conquer what holds you back.

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You’re not lazy. You’re not unproductive. You’re just a part-time procrastinator like all of us. You’re not shortsighted. You’re not unmotivated. Like all of us, you’re simply struggling to embrace short-term work for long-term benefits.

And therein lies the battle all of us face on the journey to becoming happier and more successful — we’re naturally inclined to put off our biggest goals, largely because it takes longer to reap their benefits.

High-achievers find a way to overcome the stumbling blocks that trip up those who are less motivated and thoughtful. Your blueprint begins first in your mind. The sooner you can subordinate your mental and emotional impulses to your goals and game plan, the quicker you’ll immerse yourself in ANY work that lies in front of you. …

Personal growth starts with taking a chance and following it up with action.

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No matter how prepared you think you are, you’re never, ever ready for the biggest leaps of faith in your life.

Nearly eight years ago, I married my wife — a woman who I had met for the first time six years earlier. While I felt a strong conviction that I was making the right decision, I was still very nervous. It was more comfortable, even though I loved her, to continue postponing my future. Thoughts kept running through my head:

  • Am I ready?
  • Do I have what it takes?
  • Do I want to leave my single life behind?

It was a huge moment. I hoped I was ready for it and that I could be the person I knew my wife deserved. …

Lean in to your emotions for true connection.

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Mutually beneficial relationships are what lead to growth and tremendous opportunities. As much as we seek to advance our own cause or profit, we learn in life that we elevate ourselves most when we seek to advance the cause and goals of the people we meet.

This principle of the law of reciprocity means we must lead with giving value to others if we aim to receive value in return. And the importance is not to dismiss your kind act as merely “nothing.” It’s to aim for continued growth.

New York Times bestselling author, Robert Cialdini, who wrote the book Influence, talks in HBR about furthering relationships by using self-awareness to your advantage. …

Re-frame your thinking and get better results.

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Last week, I was very sick. My stomach was in pain, I was sweating and even had the chills. During one of those awful moments in the middle of the night, when I couldn’t fall back asleep, I was filled with doubt. The negative thoughts started creeping in about my job and career. The same question kept circling around and around:

“Am I doing enough?”

That awful, nebulous question of self-doubt was ringing in my ears. It’s a philosophical question on productivity.

Even in this moment of struggle, I realized that wasn’t the right question to ask. …

How to find the opportunities in front of you amidst life’s chaos.

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The biggest force in life that holds you back is living in the past. Living each day while pining for things you think you want, but certainly don’t need, is a recipe for disaster. It’s what held me back from the life I truly wanted, and it’s what I see holding back most people I work with.

The best part is — you have the control to stop and prevent this. …

Life is much more simple than we think. Listen to a child’s perspective.

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What do you love?

What gets you so fired up for living each day that you can barely contain your excitement? Those emotions, feelings, and goosebumps that come from thinking to the future and bubbling over with genuine joy and love in your heart?

I realized very early this morning that my son has been teaching me a priceless life lesson over the last several weeks. I wanted to share our conversation with you now:

My 4-year-old son: Daddy is today my baseball game?

Me: No.

Son: Ohhh! Is my baseball game tomorrow when I wake up?

Dad: Yes

Son: Yeeah! Yeeah! Baseball! Let’s go play! …

Achieving success is well within your control.

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What do you envision the moment will look like? The moment when you’ve accomplished something truly great — something you’ve dreamed about and hoped that you’d achieve for a long, long time. Surely you have an image of this in your mind, right? I do. I play it back in my imagination several times each day. Oddly enough — or maybe not so odd — I’m there on my own. Alone.

I raise my arms in exultation to the sky, sun on my face, chills down my body, and it’s there in that moment that it hits me: all the hard work, sweat, tears, moments of anxiety, fear, frustration, doubt, anger, hopelessness, happiness, joy, faith and encouragement were worth it. …

Start with empathy and kindness.

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6 years ago, an Indian-American man took over as CEO of one of the world’s largest companies. He had spent most of his career in the organization and yet wasn’t well known to the business world. In fact, he was thought of as a surprising choice to replace a successful CEO, Steve Ballmer. And of course, to walk in the long shadow of giant, Bill Gates.

Satya Nadella inherited a culture at Microsoft of bickering, infighting, and distrust. …

If you find yourself changing up your strategy every couple days, read this.

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What is the best piece of advice for leaders right now?

Control what you can control, and work your butt off to positively influence everything else. It’s really that simple. It’s a minimalist strategy of “less is more” because right now, all of us are dealing with a “save the world” type of mindset. We don’t need to be everything to everyone. We just need to get the job done that’s right in front of us.

A “new normal” has set in over the past several months and yet of course, there’s no playbook for constantly leading on the fly. …

Progress is as much about subtraction as it is addition.

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You know that stare? You’re entranced and stuck in the moment.

You only realize it in hindsight.

When you find yourself gazing out the window, or at the small corner of the wall, or up at the ceiling. You’re so fixated on that one space as if it were reeling you in, looking to talk to you, or maybe even advise you. Once your consciousness comes back, you realize that you were lost in a moment. An imaginative glimmer in time.

Something has preoccupied you. Perhaps good, perhaps bad. But it’s preventing you from taking action.

Whatever past idea, struggle, thought, inspiration, missed chance, fear, anxiety or stress that has you captured, know that you may have to modify your process. In order to modify your process, you must begin with changing your habit. As the saying goes, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” …

Planning isn’t optional.

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Whether you are a writer, small business owner, artist, athlete, or student, a well-defined process will help drive you toward commitment and increase the probability of achieving your goals. There is literally no doubt that a well-defined process will take you there. The only question is where you’re willing to do the planning work to make it happen.

10 years ago, as I sat at my dining room table downtrodden and sullen, I stared out the window and saw myself living a life in the years to come that would make me miserable. …

The “Don’t Follow Your Passion” crowd has it all wrong — here’s why.

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STOP!!! Please, stop with the “follow your passion” is bad advice posts. It’s cliché. It’s not edgy. It’s not helpful. You’re not impressing anyone. It’s hurting far more people than it’s helping.

So, what do I say?

I emphatically say, “Follow your Passion” … (wait for it)


Like with many things in life, there’s an asterisk*.

That’s the difference between what I’ll share with you today and what others in the “Follow your passion” crowd believe. …

An easy-to-implement exercise that will completely change the way you know yourself.

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Ready to integrate a 15-minute turbocharge into your morning and evening routines? We’re talking 30 minutes total per day, tops. I promise.

It’s literally changed my productivity, focus, ability to think more creatively and my overall happiness and well-being. I’ve now written two books, including one on emotional intelligence that is helping people around the globe increase their self-awareness. I’ve studied emotional intelligence for years and lectured on it at several organizations.

At the core of emotional intelligence is an ability to “know thyself.” This is called self-awareness. So, why is this so important? Why does it matter if we do this inner identity work that helps us understand and manage our emotions? …

Product launches require a lot more than just an idea.

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Photo by Christina @ on Unsplash

You don’t know have to be Steve Jobs to have a product that will get in the hands of people and change their lives. Everything worth doing begins with an idea. Do you have your great idea?

A few years ago, I thought mine was to develop a wellness app that provided people with positive encouragement and practical tools. As it turned out, there were several of these already in the marketplace. I had a great idea, in theory, but I didn’t have the technical knowledge. I didn’t have someone lined up to actually build the product.

Yeah, in hindsight I wasn’t quite ready to be the next “Headspace.” I realized I was best served to focus on my other entrepreneurial talents of providing coaching, consulting and leadership development to individuals and businesses. I chose to not feel like a failure. Product launches are incredibly hard work. …

How to get off the mat and regain the career you’ve always wanted.

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You’ve been knocked on your butt.

Now, what are you going to do about it?

The best of us aren’t always so fortunate to be proactive. With adversity, it’s often how we react and what we do when bad news finds us. COVID-19 has left a devastating mess in its wake — ravaging small businesses, submarining careers, and causing long-time employees to re-do their resumes and figure out what just hit them.

Let’s get this out there — looking for a job sucks. It sucks. You have to be motivated, you need a strategy and you need endless energy to stay positive and hungry. Stress is inevitably going to creep in unless you’re so lucky to find something right away. …

Focus on the right things to make big moves.

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The truth is, we run away from our biggest dreams and goals because we’re afraid of actually doing the work required to get there.

When I say “required,” I mean that absolutely nothing great comes easy. Doing the work is hard, but it’s the only way you’ll ever get to know the truth of who you are — you know, whether you really have what it takes to live the life you’ve always imagined.

If you want to live the exact results that you dream about and think about constantly, then you have to be willing to work hard, think more creatively than you ever have, and commit to persevering through good times and bad. It’s not a struggle to persevere when the going is good. …

To further yourself in you career — try this.

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What’s one thing that has become much harder over the past 4 months?

Covering up our stress around family and even co-workers.

Believe me, they can see it on video calls, too. The last couple months have been a gauntlet of surviving and advancing while dealing with a tremendous amount of mental and emotional stress.

Our feelings of self-doubt, frustration, not fitting in and general dissatisfaction from the workplace, can be career killers. But now, it’s a whole different kind of stress. Balancing life, job, the threat of it vanishing, all while the world around us changes by the minute.

Look — this isn’t some treatise that you sift through that culminates in me telling you to, “Quit your job.” …

Timeless wisdom from one of history’s greatest leaders.

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Moving forward in life is about healing and coming together in mind, body and spirit. I’m often reminded of one of the great leaders in world history — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. What would he tell us today if he were here to witness the change in society?

While we sadly cannot know the answer to that question, we do have the memories of some of the most brilliant speeches ever delivered. Those speeches are chock full of wisdom that have just as much power and relevance today as they did in the 1950's and 1960's.

Martin Luther King Jr. was a civil rights icon and larger-than-life hero that changed the world. Here are 10 powerhouse quotes that will bring chills down your spine — and hopefully inspire you to change the world around you. …

Focus on people first and your purpose will become clear.

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WHO is your WHO?

That is the most important question you will answer in your life. Whether you’re concerned with yourself and/or the people around you, this matters as it is the #1 factor that determines your direction in life.

We hear a lot about your “Why” for living. Popularized by bestselling author, Simon Sinek, it’s another way of saying your purpose. Central to understanding yourself and building a self-aware life, your purpose will certainly influence your direction. But today, I wanted to talk more about your “Who”.

As a bestselling author on emotional intelligence, I realize how much our emotions connect with our decision-making. …


Christopher D. Connors

Author & Executive Coach; Emotional Intelligence; Seen on Fox, ABC, CNBC, etc. Books:,;

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