Eldest Daughter

How can you really tell if you’re doing a good job being the eldest?

This is one of the questions that’s been really bugging me for the past days. Maybe a lot of eldest son/daughter can relate but this is how I see it.

Being the eldest, in my case daughter of the family means a lot of responsibilities. 1st you have to be the role model of the siblings you have, you have to take care of them. 2nd is to take care of your parents, 3rd is to make sure that you study hard, get a good job, earn well and take over the responsibility of taking care of your siblings. They may not be in the order in your case but the point is there’s a lot of responsibilities, don’t get me wrong I love them and I am a family oriented person however did it ever cross your mind to just be the one that’s being taken care of?

I admit, I always don’t have the best of relationship with my younger brother and sister but that’s what they say right? That it’s normal for siblings to fight. I guess it’s nit about that, that I am being sad about but it’s the fact that they disrespect me. It could be my fault, but do I really deserve it? I have been trying to be the best eldest daughter that I can be to my family but somehow I end up getting them disappointed.

I have been living with my siblings for almost 5 years now, and today might have been the saddest day of my life. I know feel lonely in my own home. My own family have become one of the toxic people in my life and it’s taking a toll on me. To the point that I don’t want to go home or even just pack up and never come back.

So how do we really know if we’re doing a good job? I still don’t know…

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    Chriselda Do Gesultura

    Written by

    Mental Health Advocate, Dreamer