Aug 9Beautiful/Anonymous PlaylistsHello! My name’s Chris, and for seven years I’ve been lucky to host the podcast Beautiful/Anonymous. It’s a simple show: I have anonymous conversations with people on the phone, one hour at a time. The show’s been embraced by tens of thousands of people, and I am blown away by…Podcasting25 min readPodcasting25 min read
Published inHuman Parts·Aug 17, 2021Member-onlyI Don’t Love My Lawn So Much As the Semblance of ControlSometimes my mind goes haywire. But crabgrass I can manage. — Crabgrass emerges when your soil temperature reaches 55 degrees Fahrenheit for three straight days. You tend to see it first in compacted soil, but when it spreads through your lawn, it boxes out space for itself and settles into thick beds that fight off the grass you planted. Crabgrass roots…Lawn Care11 min readLawn Care11 min read
Published inHuman Parts·Jul 23, 2019Member-onlyHow Will I Explain My HBO Special to My Son?‘Career Suicide’ is unapologetically honest about my struggles with depression — and the lessons I learned fighting it — I have a son named Cal. He’s three months old and I don’t think it’s hyperbolic at all to say that he is the most perfect being to ever live on earth. He’s adorable and kind and he can already slap things with his hands, which I am pretty certain…Depression13 min readDepression13 min read
Published inHuman Parts·Jun 27, 2019Member-onlyA Speech for My High SchoolOur fear of having hard conversations only makes us more afraid — Let me just say this right out of the gate: I never wanted to give a fucking speech at my old high school. That being said, I’ve had a public career, and this has led to some of the people I grew up with taking pride in me. It feels…Education12 min readEducation12 min read
May 2, 2019Member-onlyA Beginner’s Guide to Beautiful AnonymousIn 2016, I started a podcast where the premise was I’d tweet out a phone number and talk to whomever called for a full hour straight. I forfeited the ability to hang up. I figured it would be a funny podcast where I’d get prank called by weirdos. Instead, this…Podcast11 min readPodcast11 min read
Published inHuman Parts·Mar 22, 2019Member-onlyI Am About to Have a Son. I Am Thinking of My Father.Preparing for my first child gave me a whole new understanding of the man who raised me — Having never had a child, the thing about parents that’s most impressed me up to now is the “you’re okay” thing they pull off. I am of course talking about a scenario we’ve all seen some version of. You’re sitting at your friend’s kitchen table, catching up. …Fatherhood8 min readFatherhood8 min read
Mar 20, 2019My Personal Opinions Regarding What I DoHi everyone - One of the comedians around NYC I’ve always tried to watch and learn from is Gary Gulman. He’s fantastic, and if you haven’t watched his bit about the people who abbreviated the states, please do so now. I’ll wait… Gary’s incredible, and he’s been posting daily…Comedy5 min readComedy5 min read
Jan 18, 2019Why I Compete“Chris Gethard to mat nine.” The frazzled man shouts it into a microphone. He’s been doing it all day, so I know that hearing my name called over a loudspeaker means I’m about to be disqualified for no-showing my match. I’ve been waiting hours for this moment. There is no…Jiu Jitsu12 min readJiu Jitsu12 min read
