Leading From The Middle: Fearless Humility

“Humility means accepting reality with no attempt to outsmart it.”
― David Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them

There are many misconceptions about humility. Some think it equates to a feeling of worthlessness — “I am nothing.” Some equate it to being humble — “I’m not much, really.” In all humility (see what I’m doing here!), I offer another definition: a true and fearless knowledge and acceptance of who we are, good and bad — “I am who I am.” In my experience, when we operate in this kind of humility, powerful things can happen. Let’s look at each of these definitions, and then tie it off with how you can embrace humility to improve your career (and probably your life) while becoming Fearlessly Known.

“I am nothing.”

This is a lie. Everyone is something, and everyone has impact from birth to death and beyond! Imagine a newborn baby, does she have no impact? I think her parents would argue that fact, especially at 2am when she’s hungry. Even in death, we can impact others. Take Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for example. He has been dead for almost 50 years, yet his impact on our country continues in the ongoing discussion about equality. To consider oneself worthless is a false humility. You sell yourself (and others) short with this attitude. Yourself, by not realizing your own potential. Others, by not allowing them to see all that is awesome in you, and benefit from that awesomeness.

“I’m not much, really.”

This is another, more subtle falsehood. Yes, one shouldn’t take credit for more than their part in life. But the other side of that bad penny is to deflect credit (or ownership) when it’s due to you. When it’s positive, you do yourself and those who depend on you the disservice of not getting the full benefit of your contribution. You deprive your family from the rewards of your good work. You deprive your lead of the joy of rewarding you, and of the reward of being a good lead. Because newsflash! It’s not all about you. As well, when it’s a negative, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to improve, and by shifting blame then you also shift the burden of the solution on to someone else. Most people with decent self-esteem will only allow you to get away with that for so long.

“I am who I am.”

Acknowledging who you are, I mean who you really are — not just at the surface, but down inside where no one but you can see — involves a fearless, accurate assessment of both your positive and negative attributes. This “fearless humility” involves acknowledging who you are, good and bad. I say both because we’re a sum of all of our attributes, positive and negative.

I’ll use myself as an example.

I am a highly intelligent person. From a young age, I have tested off the charts in reading comprehension in particular. I was reading at a college level by the 4th grade. I view this as a positive. On the other hand, I struggle with tasks that I don’t enjoy, especially if I see them as low-value tasks. I’m a program manager, yet I loathe writing status reports. This can be an issue, since one of the key functions of a program manager is pushing out status reports. Anyone who has ever managed me can tell you that status reporting is an ‘area of growth’ for me. I can put together a nice report, I just don’t like doing it, so I have to work especially hard to motivate myself. I’ve learned tricks along the way to help me with it, but it is unlikely that I’ll ever generate them as effortlessly as most others do.

Fearless Humility — A Secret Weapon

I call this a secret weapon because many people do not regularly practice it. Fearless humility is a skill, it can be learned, practiced, and possibly perfected (though I’m humble enough to say I’m not there yet!). Some traits of the “Fearlessly Known” (those who practice fearless humility):

They are constantly taking inventory of themselves. They fearlessly solicit regular feedback, evaluate it, and when appropriate they incorporate it. Notice that I say “when appropriate” — as you practice fearless humility, you learn to weigh the opinions of others against what you know about yourself, and decide if their criticism is something you want to change or something you can live with.

They are not afraid of their own weaknesses. Everyone has them, in fact — if someone denies their weaknesses they are exhibiting a false pride. The Fearlessly Known will stare their own weaknesses in the eye, and either accept them or change them, but they will never deny them.

They put a high value on integrity. “To thine own self be true” is the mantra of the fearless. They may bend but when it comes to their core principles they will never break.

They are rarely afraid of others. The Fearlessly Known may not fight every battle, but their decision is based on knowledge rather than fear. In fact, in this context knowledge is the opposite of fear. Conversely, they often make great coworkers, leaders, and mentors, because they don’t see someone else’s success as coming at a cost to their own.

They are often leaders, but not always; when you are fearless you often will find yourself leading the charge. That said, the Fearlessly Known will also defer to the leadership of others if those others are stronger leaders. They intrinsically understand (as the result of this fearless knowledge) that there is more than enough credit to go around.

I’ll close this off by offering up a story about my own journey into becoming Fearlessly Known. A few years back, I had a particularly harsh annual review, and my bonus that year reflected that. When I heard that I was below the middle of the line, my gut reaction was to become very angry. “How dare they! Don’t they know how awesome I am?!?” But within a couple of weeks, after my emotions had cooled (I also know that I am a passionate person), I thought about it and realized I received exactly what I deserved.

At Microsoft, you get paid for doing your job, your bonus reflects the extra value you add to the company. That year, I didn’t add much extra value. Earlier in the review period my wife had a dangerous allergic reaction that ended up taking more than 3 years to recover from. This was right after our oldest daughter had married, and right before our younger daughter had left the house. So within a couple of months it was just the two of us, and I spent that first year barely treading water. As I thought about it honestly, I realized that I was lucky to work at a place where my management chain was supportive as I went through this. So, within a few weeks of the bad review, I made an appointment with my boss.

“Boss,” I said, “I am unhappy with my results from last year. I want to improve, to the point where not only will I get a great bonus, but I also want a promotion.”

Again, I was fortunate at the time to work for someone who had my best interests at heart. We put our heads together, and put into place a plan to get me that bonus and promotion. The plan was to re-brand myself — to prove to the org that I was a high-value employee, that I could reign in some of my “passion” — to prove that I deserved the recognition.

That year, I opened myself up to the possibility of change. My lead and I regularly met, and focused on those things that would prove my worth. I changed some of my behaviors. I courted some of my biggest critics. I spoke at a high-visibility conference. And through it all, I continually solicited feedback from my peers, and incorporated it into my work life.

And guess what? Of course, I got the nice bonus, and the promotion, and since then I have continued the program of soliciting feedback. I’ve been given more responsibility, and have actively worked through the accompanying growing pains. I’ve tried to learn when to push back and when to take in. I still have some growth to do in this area, but it’s a journey, not a destination.

And here’s the thing — this isn’t rocket science. Anyone can do it, I know you can if you want to. Open yourself up to being fearless, and prepare to be amazed at how it transforms your career. And your life.

Chris Huennekens is a Program Lead at Microsoft, deploying SharePoint. You can view his LinkedIn profile at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrishuennekens/

Find more of Chris’ articles at https://medium.com/@chrishuennekens.