Conversation Killers

So much of our business and personal capital is earned OR lost in conversation that it is surprising how often we the risk the desired outcome. It is also surprising that the most common pitfalls to effective conversation can be found at every level of leadership or experience.

Here are my top three;

Conversation Vs. Competition
When parties become entrenched with their idea as the best, or even worse, the only option, there can be little hope of a consensus. The barrier to conversation here, is grounded in personality as much as it is in goal setting or leadership. Yes, leadership is required to manage this trait, but the solution starts with personal development.

Conversation is not a competition. It doesn’t need a winner everytime!

Agreement Vs. Alignment
In this case, chasing agreement is a flaw of leadership and NOT the personalities involved. The difficulties stemming from this failure can be very similar to personal competition but the root is in the business unit as a whole. Members of a group rarely agree to the same solution, especially if the stakes are high or the problem is complex. The desired outcome shouldn’t be agreeing to the same idea, it should be aligning to the highest possible denominator. If you have you have the right people in the room making the decision, trust that they are balancing their expertise and representing their stakeholders. Allow them to negotiate to the one decision with which they can all align. Then it’s about committing to that decision, both publicly and privately.

Knowing Your Audience
Your audience defines your message. It should therefore define your communication style. It doesn’t matter how sure you are about the value of your insight, your accuracy or acumen, the quality of your logic or any preliminary work; the message will be assessed by your audience. Remember that going in, because it might save your business goal or even your reputation.