Donald Trump. Genius.

Remember him not shutting up about the president’s birth certificate?

Gather ‘round, David and Charles Koch, Walton family, Wall Street.

Take a seat in the front row, Silicon Valley techno-bros.

The next generation of billionaire-wanna-bes, you all can sit on the floor in the front.

(You exist in a world of hazing and class structure anyway. Sitting here shouldn’t be a problem.)

Fellow GOP members, Donald Trump, is going to teach you an important lesson.

Racism is more valuable than money.

You all need to quit making fun of The Donald’s stupid, idiotic, dumb, awful, insecure, pathetic mo-ron hair and realize: he is showing you how the game is played.

I was angry at our president the day he held that press conference and brought out his birth certificate for the world to see.

Livid. That is the President of the United States of America.

Not a black man holding up a birth certificate in order to justify something that doesn’t need justifying.

But… in the eyes of Donald Trump’s current fan base, sadly it was.

It was a black man standing in front of us trying to say that he belongs.

The Donald created his current political steam back then. I get it now.

Before I sound too negative, I will say that I grew to love our president a little bit on that day.

I realized the strength and courage it took. I now know that Barack Obama understood: as President of the United States, you step into cesspools like this one and do what is best for the American people.

The man who stood up there and showed his birth certificate wasn’t a black man trying to prove to us that he was legit. That was the President of the United States, seeing the situation for what it was and doing what needed to be done.

I saw Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.’s human connection to the presidency after that.

What a sign of the sick times, that I am embracing him for paying respect to racism.

As I developed a little bit of love for the man that I campaigned for, I now see that Donald Trump was gaining love from another group of Americans.

By pushing matters to the point where that press conference happened, Donald Trump purchased a bankvault of political capital.

Bros, you need to admit that the embarrassing one is embarrassing each one of you.

Like, you’re getting your ass kicked by the most non-ass-kicker in your party and he is making you look like chumps.

Until rich folks rewrite our nation’s laws and eliminate the power of the vote, Donald Trump has the mojo. Even better for him, he’s telling the other bros to keep their money. And by saying this, he purchases even more mojo — further ingratiating himself with the people.

Going back a couple of years, I wondered what was up when Donald Trump didn’t back off from the birth certificate line of questioning. I began to question his sanity.

(Kind of like Rudy Giuliani not backing off of the Obama-doesn’t-love-America bit.)

He just didn’t seem right. Sure he was an entitled prick, but I thought that he was an entitled prick who ran a bunch of businesses and therefore had both oars in the water. Why was he honoring the words of those batshit-crazy Birthers?

I got corrected. I admit it.

Donald Trump didn’t just have both oars in the water. He had a motor on the back, a GPS, big leather captain’s chair, fully-stocked bar, all of it.

Donald Trump just might be the evil Sith Lord, Darth Asshair.

You know all that money that the Koch brothers pledged to spend this election?

Trump now has the power to render it useless — or at least command a say in how it will be used.

The Koch bros? Now in the eyes of the GOP voters, they’re also the out-of-touch, entitled old men.

Donald Trump is the rich man who is battling for the average white person who doesn’t like the non-white world.

When I call him Darth Asshair, it’s not just to be snarky.

Donald Trump hijacked decades of effort spent amping up white xenophobia.

Whatever began with the Southern Strategy and got Reagan elected, this racial fear was meant to be a closely-guarded power. Only those in the GOP inner circles would be allowed to manipulate the dark side.

But Donald broke open that safe and robbed all of the racism.

He’s got the hate-stick, and he’s waving it around.

The hate-stick renders Koch bro cash worthless.

More than a half-century spent drumming up resentment based on skin color— well, The Donald took the payoff.

Big Money is the lumbering army. Yeah, they got tanks and planes and stuff, but they’re slow and don’t react to change quickly. Donald is now the guerilla fighter, sneaking into their camp at night and stealing the expensive ammo.

He’s even posing for pictures of him stealing the ammo, sending them to his fans.

Racism erases the fact that Donald Trump’s father gave him his first building project.

Hatred of Latinos brings the rich guy down to the hateful poor white guy’s level.

Donald Trump is a walking, talking lie.

But if you lie right, no one cares.

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