Trauma and Box Jumps

Mental wellness, healing and self care all happen when you take on a new sport and your fitness increases. Fitness and our mind are intimately linked and cannot be pulled apart. My physical journey is more about my mental health than anything else.

How has CrossFit helped me through my mental wellness? Here is an example:

Box jumps are a CrossFit movement. It’s a hard one mentally to bring yourself to do. A lot of us struggle with it when we start. The movement looks like this: you start with two feet on the floor and you jump straight up onto a box and then stand up straight, in one movement.

The fear is that so many Cross-fitters have shins that have experienced a box jump miss. It’s painful. It keeps a lot of newbies from trying it. It makes us scared. For the first year I worked out, I would ONLY step up on it, I wouldn’t try the jump. Nope, no way!

There was one day after a year of stepping up on the box where I decided I was going to face my fear and try. One of my sweet friends held my hand and I jumped on the smallest box in the gym. It was about 12 inches off the floor. I was so scared and I didn’t realize I was crying. This amazing human held my hand as I jumped and cried and looked ridiculous. But I did them….all 50 of them. It was amazing.

This moment was pivotal. I realized a few things:

I could rely on another person.
My community was there for me.
I could ask for help.
I could cry.
It can be all about me sometimes.
I could look my worst and someone didn’t care, they just cheered me on.
I could do hard things.
I could break my fears.
Tears are ok.

Emotions are ok. I’ve learned to hold them, notice them, talk about them, journal about them, get used to them, welcome them…anything BUT let them take over and run my life.

I started to understand that they are just messengers telling me something about your body. My tears were a release of stress I was holding in FOR YEARS!!! I felt it all drain away. This was a pivotal healing moment that stands out in my mind as a key point in my journey.

This moment was also for me to learn to trust another human and try something that scared me. These emotions were good. It taught my body that my trauma is not in control. I’m going to be ok!

Just over a year ago, I was able to come off my anti-depressants and it was 100% because of my fitness which was more than therapy but in combination with my doctors and therapist, fitness helped me to learn new coping mechanisms, new self care and the ability to heal the trauma intentionally and purposefully. I am a new woman. I found my competitive inner child and she’s having so much fun.

Thank you Caitlin for holding my hand ❤

Your homework, if you wanna:

Do you need to bust through something that is holding you back because you’re scared? What is it? Break it down, what are the components you can do? Set small goals for each component.

Who can you ask for help? Ask them!!
Try it.
Let me know how it goes.