did Jesus guide me well, or am I drifting far off-course?

to be alive in times like this,
close your eyes, make a wish, we should always dare,
i never shun the sky, i know that we should always stare,
i think you’ll find me there,
slowly climbing heaven’s stair-way,
i ask my demons “stay away”,
i weigh between the pros and cons, of course
did Jesus guide me well, or am i drifing far off-course
cuz,
i thought i found myself, until i found a piece of me,
lying on the road-side where ghosts hide and repent,
having seen the light ray,
having seen the white-light,
having seeen the truth,
the truth within the white-lie,
i..
am a sinner in this scene,
awkward and obscene
singing in my croaky voice,
dreaming of lover’s moist lips,
those friday nights, she used to come and hoist hips,
drunken in the joys,
of serving,
an undeserving soul,
so, have i grown so cold?
your so called friends don’t like me,
and by now my demons don’t,
who will be my friend,
who will love me?
if you wont?

-christian’