A Depreciation: Tony Romo

By now, unless you’ve been in a coma or on an extended combat tour of Yemen, you’ve probably heard that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has decided to call it a career after a decade of blowing games, plays, and chances to return Dallas to the Super Bowl after an absence of two decades(and counting). Ever since the happy news broke that Romo would no longer be stinking up AT&T Stadium with his penchant for epic chokery, misguided tributes to his (questionable, at best)leadership of the Cowboys offense have been pouring in from people who should know better. Some of the more hare-brained Romo worshippers out there have even expressed hope he’ll change his mind and come back for one more season. To those people, and to everyone else who erroneously labels him “elite” and “clutch”, I want to say: Stop. Just…Stop.

When the definitive history of Jerry Jones’ tenure as Cowboys owner is finally written, Tony “Turnover” Romo will stand out as the single worst personnel decision Jones ever made. From the day Jones signed him as a free agent in 2004 until the moment Dak Prescott took over the reins from a (yet again)injured Romo last August, Romo set a standard for flopping Ryan Leaf could only dream of; seven of the ten seasons Romo was the starting QB for Dallas the Cowboys missed the postseason, and on the rare occasions when they did qualify for the playoffs they invariably got bounced in the early rounds. To put things in perspective Russell Wilson of the Seahawks, with just five NFL seasons behind him, already has more playoff wins and championships than Romo was able to manage in a full decade. For that matter Romo’s regular season performance didn’t exactly set the league on fire either half the time; those who fret Dallas could have had a better 2010 season if only Romo had been healthy for the entire year conveniently forget to mention one small yet crucial detail — Romo went 1–5 in the six games he started before he was sidelined.

The definitive moment of Romo’s NFL career is his fumbled snap on Martin Gramatica’s field goal attempt in the 2006 NFC Wild Card Game between the Cowboys and the Seahawks. Were it not for Romo’s bungling, Gramatica could have joined Roger Staubach, Ed Jones, Troy Aikman, and Emmitt Smith in the ranks of Cowboys postseason heroes; as it was, he became one of the first and saddest victims of Romo’s inability to do anything right when it mattered most. In a perfect world Romo would have been fired on the spot for costing Dallas the opportunity to play in Super Bowl 41. But of course Jerry Jones, being the weapons-grade idiot that he is, just HAD to keep re-signing Romo year after miserable underachieving year. Were it not for Pete Carroll’s inexplicable decision to call a pass play on 2nd and 1 in the closing seconds of Super Bowl 49, Jones would rightly and universally be regarded as the stupidest man in the NFL.

Long story short, Tony Romo’s like an appendix…the NFL is better off without him. Now if we could just get rid of Jerry Jones that would solve the rest of Dallas’ problems.