Illusion

I am your average American sweet heart. My story begins tough though, my mother died when I was nine years old. My grandmother took me under her wing even though she fought my dad for years just to have me. The day came and from there I would be raised out on my grandmothers farm.

I raised goats, cows, pigs, and my favorite animal chickens. Every morning I would head out and feed the animals on the farm, I would also count how many eggs my hens laid and my grandma would always say “ oney how many of them eggs do you have now?” I would laugh and say too many to count!

How I loved my grandmother and the way she would handle everything. She lived above where the school house was so she would hear every time I would get whipped or screamed at by miss.richer, and she would march down there and scream at the lady I gave hell to, to stop being mean to me.

I grew to be a woman as my grandmother grew to be gentle. Right after she got really bad sick I married so she would never miss the day her little baby got married. Right after the wedding she died. It broke my heart and after her passing I could no longer take care of myself. Even when it came to my newly called husband tom, which I did not know in the least bit.

After his long days at work and drinking he would come home to me to beat me black and blue. I would yell and tell him I hated him but that only made things worse. Long nights and days of getting beat I finally found a way to escape and that was when frank came into my life.

I found him to be everything tom was not and I loved it. Tom died by a car falling onto him. I can’t say it was not a relief to me because it most certainly was. I than married frank and my son Jon with him. Raised Jon the best way I could. Sometimes I felt I lost who I was and I would than failed as a wife, and a mother.

I sat in the fields and screamed. I took razors up my arms. I forgot what the world carried for me. Frank seen the worst get worse. The only way he thought could make me better was to admit me in the asylum. I did not disagree with his choice, because I knew I was threatening to him and Jon. They did not deserve it so to get better was all I wanted. I sat in a empty room for hours until a man would come to do his business with me and leave. Frank would come everyday, but he did not ever know about the men who made me lose my sanity even more so than before. I could not tell him because he already thought I was crazy.

Frank stood by my side after years of me being absent in both his and Jon’s life’s. I was released after years of being readmitted several times. When I got out I was gentle as my grandmother was when she was this age. Frank aged and so did Jon. Jon got married while his wife and him had a baby in the way.

Times got tough and frank went blind and I lost my mind. There’s was no other choice than to be out in a nursing home. Where I was crazy and forgot things everyday me and frank were separated. My son came and seen us the first years and after that I never saw him again. Nor did I see frank.

I sat in a wheelchair the rest of my years, and listened to crazy people yell and hit me and steal my food. I cried to the lord to take me home but for a reason I had to live each day with nurses dressing me and bathing me. I would say things out of my head every time a nurse would talk to me. I Beecher gained my sanity back but I did make a new friend. She was new, and I knew she would kind and had a brilliant mind. She treated me could and dried my tears when they fell. The woman made me feel at home.

I would die on her watch but only because she was my comfort. I knew she would hold me and make sure Jesus would take me with him. Before I had passed she listened to this story I told her. The last thing I said to her and what would stick with her for years would be “I’ve had a many dogs come and go in my home, when they left that’s when I knew they found their way home. As I sit in this wheelchair at 87 around 10 other residents I wonder now how to get back home. My mind is to reset and to never acknowledge the roads I took to get there.”

Christina Thompson.

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