I agree with this (comment above). While I accept and understand the general principle, there are a few reasons why someone may be unavailable even if they’re really “into” the other person. Workaholics also come to mind (whether they’re artist, in a life-saving profession, whatever). It may mean that they are not completely emotionally or otherwise available for the kind of commitment that the author envisions as most people’s goal/ideal…. but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not “into” and maybe even in love with the other person. In fact, the more “into” someone I am at first… the more I may try to maintain some space until I feel less vulnerable and more safe. In my experience, not all “real relationships” start as ga-ga kids acting like they’re in their 20s. I say this from the perspective of a person who’s been on the planet for more than half of a century who lives with PTSD and other consequences of sexual trauma. Maybe your experience is shared by many… but not all of us all of the time.