#SSM HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
Top 10 Scary Football Puns!
BOO! Halloween is probably my least favourite of the ‘Great British’ customs, but just for dislike one cannot ignore it. Here are some of football’s greatest scary puns (that I can come up with of course!) to use whenever you please!
10: Steven N’ZOMBIE (Roma)
Roma’s terrifying defensive midfielder towers over his colleagues at the height of 6'4. A tough tackling Frenchman who excelled in the Premier League with Stoke and La Liga with Sevilla is hoping to match his scary stats at Stadio Olimpico.
9: PETR CECH under the bed (Arsenal)
The monster for the Czech international might be Bernd Leno as the German has taken his spot at the Emirates. Now he is seeing out the twilight of his career at Arsenal at the tender age of 36.
8: Kieran THE REAPER (Tottenham)
His goal at the World Cup still remains singular at the peak of my life, but it haunts him now as his side lost 2–1 to Croatia (still brings the tears back now). Trippier has had an indifferent start to the season with Spurs sitting in fifth.
7: Diego GHOSTA (Atletico Madrid)
Certainly a frightening man on the pitch, Diego hasn’t really torn it up since his return to Atleti. Since returning from Chelsea he’s hit 3 league goals in 22 appearances, not the figures of a man who used to scare defences regularly in the Premier League.
6: Gabby AGBONLAHAUNT (Free Agent)
Certainly a haunting few years for the former England international has left him without a club and making an appearance on the True Geordie YouTube channel, he’s probably hit rock bottom. League 1 is the best level he can hope for.
5: Nigel SPOOKMAN (Retired)
Having been retired since 1998, Spackman certainly wouldn’t be the legs in this 10. But the former Chelsea and Liverpool man was a solid tackling midfielder in his day, although he never scored a goal in the Premier League era. The pun was too good to leave out!
4: Brad FRIE-GHTENING (New England Revolution Manager)
Another retired ex-Liverpool man Friedel has taken up his coaching in his native U.S.A with New England Revolution. The towering goalkeeper has been retired since 2015.
3: John TERRYFYING (Aston Villa Assistant)
JT has just featured in my previous piece ‘The Next Generation’. He also has just begun his coaching career at the club he finished at, Villa, where he is assistant to Dean Smith.
2: Cole SHOCKTON (Tranmere Rovers)
‘Stockton’ as he’s really known, has been around the lower leagues with Tranmere for a while, with intermittent spells at Carlisle and Hearts in between his two spells with the club. Also a great pun!
1: Pierre-Emerick AUBAMEFANG (Arsenal)
Arsenal’s second petrifying pun, Aubameyang certainly petrifies defences in the Premier League with the best minutes/goals ratio in Premier League history for players with over 10 goals scored. The Gabonese striker has to be a contender for the golden boot this year.
Thanks for reading everyone. See you Sunday!
