Historical Missed Connections #2

Sept. 8, 1692 — Could lend a hand or two — Salem Village, MA — w4w

After an attempted drowning by my neighbor, Samuel Warrendove, I drug myself out of the well not eleven hours beyond whence I was plunged. My hands and fingers proved bloody from scraping the walls upon my desperate desire to climb out. Once I emerged, I laid mine eyes unto the Blacksmith Shoppe before me and noticed a latrine-size pile of boulders. How strange, I thought to myself. Blacksmiths do not cast boulders, only iron! How frivolous! Stepping toward the pile I witnessed 10 fingers sticking out from in between two exceptionally large rocks. An epiphany; one of the poor souls who was pressed with rocks until a confession arose. Who is this poor soul? I thought to myself. A poor victim of ruthless accusation, just like me. With brute force, I pushed the boulders over to see to whom these digits belonged, and prayed that I could save the rest of you. But the fingers simply fell out; there was not a body attached to them. I wondered where you went as I looked upon the fingers lying on the muddy ground; if you were no longer suffering. If you have survived the continuing trials, you probably cannot write back, because of missing all your fingers, but I invite you to refuse the devil, as I have, and pray to God you can grow new fingers so we can go to the tavern for a swill.