Kissing Consciousness

At the end of our first week as a school together, (we are the national drama school of New Zealand and I am the Director; toiwhakaari.ac.nz) we have developed a small tradition.

It stems from a short story I told the school a few years back, about the first dance I attended at high school, when I was 13, and all of the difficulties that emerged from the endurance session of kissing I pursued that night, as a part of my journey into adolescence.

First some context. Then the story.

If we do the job well of arriving in the school (which we work on together with great care) we end our first week in a very good space.

There are about 100 of us. We are aware of our achievement. We have found a way to be human together.

Everyone has revealed to each other, something of their purpose for being in this school together. There is a warmth. A sense of connection, adventure and opportunity.

This platform is important.

If we are to really tackle the serious self awareness involved in becoming the artists and makers we want to be; then a high trust setting is crucial.

A few years ago, on this last day, of the first week, I noticed that the students were organising a party to celebrate their good work.

The first year students of course will flock to this party. As I did to my school dance.

It signals a new level of independence and initiation. To say nothing of the fun.

I noticed a growing elation amongst our folk well before the party had commenced.

Then I put this together with a trend I had noticed.

The students want to connect. They want to meet. We all do when we come together. Especially around an altruistic purpose like making art and training to get better at it.

But often the urge to connect, mistakenly leads on, beyond the fun of celebration, into the intense intimacy of a sexual encounter.

Nothing wrong with that in and of itself.

However, when you are about to embark on three years of training alongside someone; getting this close, this fast, isn’t probably setting you up, to be able to learn at your best, in the shared learning setting we have.

So I told the story, in a light way, of my rush to connect. At that Disco. All those years ago. In a dark corner. It was thrilling and confusing and unraveled on me further and further over the following weeks.

And now it’s a small moment we like, and senior students tell the message in a range of very colorful ways that they create.

It’s amusing. And sobering.

We become more aware of the opportunity we share together and the care needed to realise it well.

This year I added in a few things.

I’ve noticed two trends in our school.

First a rise in the cases of medicated mental health in our student body. That seems consistent with more general social trends and folk getting clearer and more public about this part of life.

However students don’t directly put together the way we work, in group, as a platform for greater health. And of course better work.

It takes them a while, months or maybe a couple of years, to link the work of building group, by leading and contributing, to the real sense of meaning, and place, and drive, and confidence in self; that come from working like this.

So I chatted about this for a bit. And then rolled into a second noticing.

Not new maybe, but a continuing tendency amongst our young adults,to drink to excess, in the weekends.

My take.

They drink, in part, to get away; from feeling.

To avoid the feelings that come up while training.

The disturbances. The loneliness. The confusion. The lack of self worth.

This gets “coped with” by a desire to go unconscious.

A desire to forget.

I challenged the students, gently this year, to notice this more.

To ask; was this happening? And if it was: to maybe check it.

And I encouraged them also to notice if their friends were going unconscious. And If so; to potentially intervene and check them.

Not a practiced way of acting in New Zealand.

I am in role here. As Director of school and as wise adult. I am educating.

Health is a focus for me this year. Social, physical and spiritual, as we train and teach and learn together as a community.

It feels increasingly important that we face these challenges and make them our shared responsibility.