I am under the water — the sun shining down through the top layer so I can tell which way is up. Holding my breath and waving my arms and legs to stay down — the little air bubbles clinging to my face and floating towards the light. I can’t hear anything down there other then the sound my body makes moving through the water — dapple dapple. The rippling and the dark tones of underwater movement and the filtered sound of the world on the other side.
He said it was the best 18 hours of his life. I would like to believe that but then I would just be sad for him. It was really a lovely 18 hours. I had gone to dinner and a jazz concert with my mother — raced home to freshen up and light all the candles and hide the dirty clothes in the closet. I opened the circle and called in the magicians and the Goddess. I asked that they support me in creating the sexiest most passionate night for us. Sex magic I whispered — he needs to know about the sex magic.
He came in and he said he loved my space — he looked around relieved and happy at all my altars and crystals and things. He looked so relieved that it was just a house that was filled with all the things I love. He came in and he changed the music, I really like his taste in music and it helped to add him to the ritual. He was in there too. It is not all about me… There is an us now. We are blending our energies — it is really impressive to experience this blending and be aware of it. We had a lovely lovely time together. It was so romantic, just two people who wanted to connect and sink into each other.
THE SEX WAS MAGIC.
The next morning he bolted. Ha ha (hey! That is my signature move!). I made plans with someone else— I just wanted to keep a connection with others going but it fell flat. I wanted to be with Dave. Simple as that. I got a text that said — hey why don’t you grab a book and come out. I was so happy at the idea of just laying around on Sunday in his comfy space — with him. So I did.
We had such a nice time — laughing and talking and exchanging ideas. We had another great round of sex — the magic still there. He got my last name wrong while talking to his brother and he called me chunky. Normally I would have written off anyone for these infractions. But I didn’t. This is huge. This tells me that this one is worth forgiving and letting down walls. This one is worth so much to me.
I have great hopes for this love. Not to put any pressure on anything — just let it flow. We had some major bumps in the road but the path seems pretty clear now. I hope we make it. I hope we can make it to the rocking chairs. I would love to hold this mans hand for the rest of our lives and laugh at his jokes and correct him when he gets my name wrong…