My experience exactly, and it’s a shame that only few people realize that it’s often a result of what they bring to the table.
Quick to snap at people? No “Great work, mate!” — ever? Like to hoard (and not share) information to shine at the team meeting? Maybe there’s a reason why people don’t like to hang with you at the coffee machine.
Thanks for breaking your three steps to EI down, Darius! Continuously reflect, interpret, and manage — that’s the way to mature emotionally!
Only thing I would add: If you don’t know how to manage your emotions, learn from those who do.
There’s always this coworker who diffuses a tense situation with just the right amount of humor. Or the one who meets unreasonable demands proactively with alternative strategies instead of a short fuse.
Learn from them — how they speak, how they engage with others, how they carry themselves at work. Try it their way for a week — the results might surprise you.