“The Company” is watching

If you were born in Vietnam in the early 1950's and your husband was part of ARVN, “The Company” is watching.

Too many inquiries about your MIA husband — “The Company” calls.

Chatter that your husband has been spotted rallying support from Vietnamese ex-patriates to re-ignite the revolution — “The Company” calls.

His location identified — “The Company” smashes in all the windows of your car while you’re sleeping.

Family members trying to locate his remains — “The Company” calls.

I don’t run into too many Americans that know there was a war going on in Vietnam before and after the U.S. got involved.

My father and grandfathers fought in the ARVN, also known as the South Vietnamese Army. My father continued fighting, even after April 30, 1975. Even after Saigon fell to the North Vietnamese Army. He died fighting to free Vietnam from “The Company.”

We fled Vietnam on April 20, 1975. With only one suitcase and a gallon of water, my father, 7 month pregnant mother, 5 year old brother and 2 year old self boarded an airplane and left the only home we knew.

In the years since 1975, my father never stopped fighting to free our country. He dreamt of the day when our motherland would finally be free from communist rule and he could bring his family back home.

His continued military involvement was dangerous because “The Company” was watching him. While away on missions, we wrote to him using his code name: Peter Narron. When you’re a kid, it seems fun to use code names. Like we were spies. We never spoke of my father to people outside the family. If anyone asked, we were instructed to tell them he was dead.

In first grade, I had a Vietnamese tutor that came to my school once a week for a few months. He helped me with my writing but he also drew pictures of Cinderella for me to color. He was very nice. He asked questions about my father. I told him my father was dead. Looking back, I think “The Company” was watching me, too. I’m a bit nervous they are still watching me.

A friend recently asked if I thought the U.S. involvement in the Vietnam war was a bad idea. Bad for whom? My father and grandfathers fought for freedom. The U.S. involvement was viewed by many South Vietnamese as hope that freedom could be won. Hope and freedom? Never a bad a idea.

The last time I saw my father was the summer of 1986. I was entering high school and he was entering the jungle. He was going deep undercover. Highly classified covert mission. Goal: freedom. Secrecy was of the utmost concern. No communication was allowed. No more letters. Not even to Peter Narron. Once he was safe, he would send the all clear message. That message never arrived.

A message did arrive. Thirteen years later. His entire unit had been ambushed at the border. Everyone was killed or captured. The captives were tortured. After thirteen long and agonizing years, the lone survivor was released. He is the only reason that we know my father is dead. He is the only witness alive to speak about the atrocities he and his comrades endured. But he only speaks the names of the dead and nothing more. We only know that my father died on that very day they launched their mission. The survivor won’t speak any other words. “The Company” is watching him, too.