I am unsure how to communicate this to anyone.
Life is very short and sometimes you have to deal with the circumstances that you have the best way that you know how to.
I don’t consider myself a woman of vast influence; as a matter of fact I am as low as they come. I am a Caucasian female and my husband is an Asian-American. His parents were born in India and I am so glad that he’s in my life. We have three girls together and our pup. We all live in Orlando Florida.
My journey started in 2016 with a standard MRI that revealed a lot of damage to my brain. The Department of Veterans Affairs had withheld treatment because they didn’t know what was wrong but they never sought out what was wrong. I believe the reason they did not seek out what was wrong it’s because I’m a rape victim.
I have tried very hard to not let my childhood and what happen in Kuwait Define me. Yet when you’re sitting at a table with doctor’s and the chief of staff and the last thing that she says is well you know she was raped; then it’s kind of hard for people to take you seriously.
Out of frustration, aggravation and just feeling very overwhelmed I decided to venture out on my own. My husband added me to his insurance and then we found out how serious my problems really were.
I am the topic that people run away from. And darkness maybe my name is whisper or mentioned. I wonder will people remember me when I’m gone? I sit in sadness and confusion because I do believe in God I love him so very much. It puzzles me because I don’t understand why this is even happening to me.
I find myself surrounded by people who do know what’s going on but then they lie about it. I wonder why that is. I do not believe that God caused this, I know that God is a gentleman and then he will not force his will on anyone. That God is a just God and that he sees things that I can’t. I don’t believe that you have to be a Republican or a Democrat or even an Independent to see the things that happened in my case that were so wrong. At times I wish I was never born because of the way I was put together, I feel like I’m a mistake. But I don’t get to decide that. I am all about people doing their job and my job is not to decide whether I live or die; my job is to just to continue to live even as painful as it is.
I will write about incest from the age of 12 to 17. I will write about my service in the military. I will write about my medical conditions that ended up as bad as they are because I was profiled and labeled incorrectly. I do have my mistakes I am not guiltless and I’m not blameless. The things that I did was a result of my pain, that is not excuse it helps me understand it. I hope that my story is a story of redemption and that people who make decisions no matter if it’s about laws or policy or even Administration policies that they can learn from me.
I might die but I will not be forgotten. I will also write letters to my daughters on here. I cannot bear to tell them everything that is happening.
Take care and love your family good night.
