Pervs Beware — Female Warriors Are Coming To Crush Your…You Know What!

I love Pink, and her song “So What?!” is like my anthem these days purely because of the line “I wanna start a fight.” I’m a peace-loving person (seriously!) and I hate seeing people fight over the stupidest things such as who has the right of way on the road (this is why I don’t drive anymore), but when perverts target gals who are not even dressed provocatively, I can’t help but start a fight.

I believe such a situation calls for a loud rant and a steady flow of insults toward the offender, which a gay friend of mine doesn’t approve of. He actually said, “Oi, don’t be like that…” to me in a greatly embarrassed manner after I called out a man for saying lascivious things to a young woman who walked past him. That only made me explode more, and my gay friend shushed and the pervert ran away.

Seriously, there are so many perverts around these days and they’re scary. If you’re not feisty, you’re going to be easy prey to them. I’m not as fearful of them as a lot of women are because I am the kind of person I am (a person with a death wish, claim my friends) and I look the way I do (I have what many call a resting b**** face) but I do feel threatened as well. I have been catcalled and looked at weirdly by old men. Some women enjoy such attention, some ignore it, but I, because of how insecure that makes me feel, instinctively get on “fight mode.”

My mom’s very concerned that I might get into a physical fight because of my natural tendency, so she always insists that I have somebody with me whenever I go out. When my cousin Jamie’s free, I bring her along since apart from the fact that she’s a lot like me, she’s taller, and she also studied martial arts and had won medals in a few national tae kwon do competitions. I look tougher than she does, actually, but when it comes to fighting skills, she’s definitely better than me, though I had taken a few self-defense classes when I was younger. Jamie knows it’s her job to protect me because unlike when I was younger when I had both bark and bite, I really am just mostly bark now.

Actually, last Saturday, we went out and got to talking about the disturbing news that came out recently of a public transport driver that was a nympho. The driver not only touched his female passenger inappropriately, he also flicked his tongue at her like a snake.

“I would have karate chopped his neck,” I said angrily.

“If a guy behaves like that around me, I will poke him in the eye and punch him on the ear,” Jamie said. “Cong (her boss, the congressman, who was recently elected city mayor) saw the news with us in the office. He’s insisting on free martial arts classes or self-defense program for women in all the towns. He wants me to help in organizing those since I know a lot of martial arts trainers.”

“You’re going to need martial arts management software to organize the program well since it’s a city-wide one,” I advised her.

That was good news and I’m pretty sure a lot of women will benefit well from the program. Women really should have a lot of fight in them, especially now that there are so many pervs roaming around. Those maniacs should come across lady warriors who will crush their shameless “manhood.” They can’t go on thinking that there’s no damaging consequence to their inability to control their urges.

I really hope the classes will have moves focused on warding off pervs — I’m pretty sure they’ll be the most useful.

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